Breakaway News Volume No. 19 Issue No. 4 April 2014

Happy Easter

 It’s time to break out the Easter bonnets, get ready to dye and hide some eggs, and perhaps enjoy a choral work or two. Easter falls on the 20th this month, and we wish all our customers a Happy Easter Sunday.

   Nothing Doing

This is Breakaway’s paragraph about nothing! How many different ways can you express nothing? As in zero, nada, nil, nunca, zilch, bupkus, a big ol’ goose egg, naught, and, finally, good ol’ fashioned squat.

   Fool Me Once…

This month is also the month for hijinks, practical jokes, and all sorts of crazy shenanigans. If you’re the office’s resident jokester, and you find yourself low on whoopee cushions and joy buzzers, be sure to call Breakaway. We can deliver all the items you need to keep yourself the office cut-up. Just don’t blame us if you get fired.

 Our New Racer

 Breakaway hires a lot of couriers from the west coast of Africa, but few go on to do what   M524, Nun Manhe, is doing. He just got his bicycle racing license, and he’s training hard every morning. His first scheduled race is on April 5th. Good luck!

That’s Cheating!

 We are big fans of the CitiBike program in NYC. Now, one crazy startup has created an electric motor that can attach to a CitiBike for those less inclined to pedal. The Shareroller will weigh about 7 lbs., and will ease the strain of pedaling. Only problem; it’s illegal, as the city outlawed electric bicycles. It’s also cheating, you have to carry it with you, and it identifies you as a big wussy.

 App-arently Works!

  More and more, apps seem to be the way people do things in this world. Now, we’re getting    in on the act. Download the hyperSHIP app from the Google Play or iTunes store, enter the  code, “bway,” and then use your existing online log-in. It’s that easy. Online, and now on your  smart phone; Breakaway is everywhere!

 From the Field

 Breakaway managing editor and Newsletter writer has been writing this edition  from the Island of Enchantment, Puerto Rico. He informs us that the weather is fantastic, that there is no snow anywhere, and that the temperature has been a consistent 70 – 80 degrees. Naturally, he’s going to be our first April Fool’s victim when he gets back.

 Stump the Band

Last month, we asked how the Moscow metro was honoring the Sochi Olympic games. Answer: They would let you ride the metro free, if you could perform thirty squats.

 T-Shirt Question

 People have often souped bicycles up with things to make them faster, but the Dutch came up with an original one recently. What is it? The first one to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.