For Love Or Money
It’s February, and soon Hallmark stores everywhere will be reminding us that it’s time to get that special someone a lovely gift, or you’re doomed to a fate worse than watching the Cheaters marathon. Remember, Breakaway can deliver any large gift you purchase and can deliver it anywhere in the tri-state area. Please, don’t smooch the messenger.
Breakaway has always been set up for this, but it’s not been widely noted: We do accept payment via ACH (Automated Clearing House). If you’re company has been cleared to process payments via ACH, you can pay your balance with us that way. We still accept checks, credit card, and cowry shells.
Office Manager Andy, as many of you may know, is the fastest office manager on two wheels. His daily workouts are legend. So is his grunting while he’s on the rollers grinding out those virtual miles. Now, his exercise acoustics have been deciphered. One long grunt means, “Answer the phones!” Two short grunts punctuated by a wheeze; “Ten more minutes!” We’re compiling a dictionary, which we’re sure will be on Kindles everywhere.
A crime so shocking, so grand in scale has occurred at Breakaway HQ, that we almost dare not put it in type. Someone has absconded with someone else’s cheddar cheese that was in the fridge. Amazingly, the cheese-whiz sampled it the day before deciding to devour the rest. Normally, the victim wouldn’t give edam (pun intended) and would share, but this leaves a burrito bare. We’re on the lookout for a mousy character with long whiskers.
Milk From Who?
We love science, and we couldn’t help but notice that the 2009 winner of the Ig Nobel prize in veterinary medicine went to Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson of Newcastle University, UK, for showing that cows that have names give more milk than cows that are nameless. Somewhere, there’s a cow thinking to itself, “I am not just a number!” We’re with you, Bossie!
Research has shown that varying your routine has a stimulating effect on the brain’s dendrites. Accordingly, we at Breakaway have declared Feb 1st to be Do Something Different Day. As our first act, we’re ordering all our messengers to ride their bikes backward. That, and to not pick up their paychecks on Friday.
Stump the Band
Last month we asked for the date that heralded New Year’s Day in England up until 1752. Answer: March 25th, the Feast of the Annunciation, until the adoption of the Gregorian calendar.
On February 18th, 1930, Pluto, the ninth planet was discovered. Recently, however, Pluto was demoted. To what status was Pluto demoted and why? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.