Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 9 September 2013

Happy 5774

A happy New Year, or Rosh Hashanah to everyone out there, and a good Yom Kippur. This year, the Jewish New Year begins on Sept. 5th – 6th, while the Day of Atonement begins on Friday the 13th. So remember; if you throw any salt over your shoulder for good luck, make sure it’s kosher salt!

Online Invoicing

Okay, look, we get it. You haven’t switched to online invoicing because you see no need to change. That’s why you still cling to your rotary phone, while employing a ghost to work the telegraph in the back office, and breeding carrier pigeons on the roof. But trust us, online invoicing is quick, easy, and painless. To get started, e-mail Peggy Bernstein at And send that rotary thing to the museum, will you?

A-Rod Prod

How hot and heavy is the rivalry between the Yanks and the Sox? Last month, things got really heated after Alex Rodriguez was beaned by a pitch from Ryan Dempster. A furious Girardi got himself ejected from the game after arguing with the ump. That was nothing compared to A-Rod though, who suddenly turned green, his uniform ripped from his bulging muscles, all the while bellowing, “Alex Smash!!” Dang PEDs.

Large Load Lifts

In this day and age, there are not many companies that can afford to not adapt and still remain in business, and we’re no exception. Although we got our humble start with bicycle couriers, we also have vehicles, including lift-gate trucks, which can haul the biggest of loads for you. We can even store them, and help you with logistics. Call our trucking department for details.

Back to School

Hey, do you hear that? That low rumble. It sounds like the roar of jubilance, of incredible ecstasy. It’s the sound of parental celebration as the kids go back to school. So, get those school supplies, and prepare for the glorious sounds of silence. Our equally jubilant messengers will deliver any school supplies you order with a knowing wink.

Bold Rush

As of this writing, according to the Department of Public Health, there have been 181 applicants to open a medical marijuana dispensary in Massachusetts. That’s a lot of people out there making big bets on the future. That’s also a lot of Doritos that’ll need to be delivered, so don’t forget to call us!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked (in Spanish) who the first native born Puerto Rican governor was. There are two answers: Juan Ponce de Leon II, in 1579, and Jesus Pinero, who was the native governor after the U.S. acquired the island, in 1946.

T-Shirt Question

Ichiro Suzuki batted his 4000th career home run this August, joining a club with only 2 other members. Who were they? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.