Breakaway News Volume No. 19 Issue No. 12 December 2014

Xmas Cheer

Happy Holidays to all of our customers! During this time of holiday cheer, take a moment to remember all those out there, especially our messengers, who are freezing their tails off! Even so, they’re all happy to spread the spirit of the season, so please offer them some warm egg nog or something.

Spreading Cheer

 We know how much you like to shop for family during the holidays. If you have more than 10 deliveries to make, consider sending us a spreadsheet. You can find the template on our website at That way, you can save time, and don’t have to repeat your order if you’re interrupted on the phone.


A lot of stories at Breakaway don’t get used, and so we wind up tabling a lot of them. Resultantly, we have a pile of stories on the table, and what we’ve decided is that we need a bigger table. So come and read our table. There’s great stuff on it.

 Not Brain Food

 When writing, or involved in any mental effort, the brain needs glucose in order to process and organize information. There are right and wrong ways to go about this, and for this newsletter, we ordered a black and white cookie, which is the totally wrong way of going about this! We can feel the sugar-induced ADHD kicking in right now!


 Here at Breakaway, there occasionally is a story of incredible originality, perspicacity, and gumption in the delivery of packages for our customers. We had a great story ready to go for this newsletter, but we forgot what it was, what with all the phone calls and taking orders, and fielding questions and stuff. You’ll just have to imagine what it was but take our word for it, it was incredible.

Major Tom-foolery

 As you may have heard, the robotic lander Philae landed successfully on comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, a stunning accomplishment. What you may not know, is that we delivered it, on time, and complete with POD. What the European Space Agency doesn’t know is that we’re charging them extra for the oversize nature of the delivery. Weightless my foot.

Stump the Band

 Last month, we asked who the first female general officer in the U.S. Army was Answer: Anna Mae Hays.

 T-Shirt Question

 From where do long period comets originate? The first one to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.