Breakaway News Volume No. 19 Issue No. 8 August 2014

Labor’s Lost

 Yeah, we know, it’s August. It’s officially the last month of summer, and the time to get in that beach tan is getting short. It’s actually shorter than it oughta be; Labor Day is coming right on September 1st, which is way early. Speaking for summer lovers everywhere, we object! We’re convinced that it’s a conspiracy! The man is trying to make us work more! We’re going to write our congressman about this, be sure!

 Tour de Force

 Congratulations to Vincenzo Nibali for winning this year’s Tour de France. It was a good Tour this year, albeit a bit boring. More congratulations go to Germany for their win in the World Cup. There was also a tennis match happening somewhere in England we think, but with the Tour and World Cup on, nobody really knows who won that.


 This month, we’re taking the time to recognize a true Breakaway stalwart, Guillermo Arroyave. Guillermo is more than just an employee, he’s Breakaway’s secret weapon. Since 1996, Guillermo has been keeping the office clean and neat and running. He’s done tons of thankless jobs here in our digs, and he’s done it all with a smile. So, thanks, Guillermo!

Job Openings

 Well, our stable of disgraced pols and public figures keeps growing. News reports about Cuomo abruptly shutting down an anti-corruption committee hints at the possibility of the Governor leaving office in disgrace. Well, he’s welcome to fill out an application here at Breakaway. We have Spitzer’s rusty old bicycle to use, if he needs.

What Size?

 Breakaway started life as a bicycle courier company. That’s still the heart and soul of the company, but, in the years since, we’ve also grown a fleet of vehicles, to handle the loads that would flatten a cyclist if he picked it up. So, choose your delivery method:  we have fleet-footed walkers, cargo bikes, cars, vans, box trucks, even large lift-gates and refrigerated vehicles. No job too big, nor too small.

App Flap

It’s out there. Waiting. No, not the car from Dial 7. It’s the Breakaway app, which you can download from our website, or by searching for hyperSHIP on Google Play, or in the App Store. The app enables you to order deliveries and track packages from anywhere using your smart phone. So, what are you waiting for? The Breakaway app is calling you.

Stump the Band

 Last month, we asked what creatures are variously known as half-lop, lop, or uppy-eared. Answer: rabbits. They terms refer to whether the rabbit in question has both ears up, down, or one up and one down.

 T-Shirt Question

What creature has the highest metabolism of any homeothermic animal? The first one to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.