Breakaway News Volume No. 22 Issue No. 10 October 2017


It’s October, and that means that at the end of the month, we get to experience the annual sugar rush we call Halloween! Hordes of tiny hobgoblins and pint-sized superheroes will beat a path to your door in hopes of upping their cavity count from your bowls of sweet goodness! Need help preparing? Give us a call; our trucking department is ready to ship a few pallets of premade confectionary your way!

Fall Tasting

Fall weather is definitely in the air. We at Breakaway are getting ready for some serious leaf-peeping, getting out our fall and winter clothes from storage, and bracing ourselves for what has become the new annual onslaught: pumpkin spice!! We have no doubt as we wander through our respective cities that we will be inundated with  pumpkin spice lattes to accompany our pumpkin spice scones, perhaps later to be followed with pumpkin soup and some pumpkin spice beer. All in moderation, of course.

B.o.B, S.O.S, N.u.T.

Rapper B.o.B. has made a new name for himself recently. He came out strongly in favor of the idea of a flat earth (because, why not?), and has now launched a Go Fund Me page to launch satellites in order to “help him find the curve.” Of course, he could save himself, and people who might contribute, a lot of money; all he has to do is ask one of our couriers. They have enough miles and measurements in their legs to suss out any curve. Heck, we can even rush that to him.


One well dressed young boss to another: “Oh my god, none of us have working phones!”

 Just another titillating conversation heard by our couriers every day.

Ultimate Stairmaster

How famous are general manager AY’s stair workouts? Famous enough for real estate mogul Stephen Ross to build him the ultimate stair master! In his Hudson Yards project, there is what looks like a large waffle cone in the middle of the whole shebang, the sole function of which is to provide a stair platform. Andy is already lacing up his running shoes.

Shorter Days

The days are definitely getting shorter (thanks to a round earth, B.o.B!), and we’re feeling the effects of the declining sunlight. Groggy all day, groggy all night, time to take a flight. Admittedly, some of our couriers love the winter. That’s why we hired them, so we could fly south.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked why the Tappan Zee Bridge is located where it is. Answer: It was deliberately built 25 miles north of the Statue of Liberty to keep it outside the jurisdiction of the Port Authority, and under the NYS Thruway’s authority.

T-Shirt Question

“I got no reason to be there, but I imagine it would be some kind of change.” Who uttered this and what does it refer to? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.