Breakaway News Volume No. 22 Issue No. 1 January 2017

Happy New Year

To all of our customers, both those who have been with us from the beginning to the newest members of our extended customer base, we want to wish all of you a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year. Be careful out there, and mind the dropping ball on New Year’s Eve!

Not Now!

Hurry up! Not now! No time! Get with it! Step on it! Get on it! I’m busy!

Minims

So, it’s happened. No, not the election. The minimum wage in New York City has officially gone up 22 per cent. Although, if we’re going to be really accurate, it went up 22.22222 per cent. You know, only a bureaucrat could love a figure like 22.22222 per cent.

Number Numbness

Numbers are like a Rorschach test. You can see in them whatever is already in your mind. When the minimum wage went from $9 to $11, people saw in that 9/11. And, if you multiply 22.22222 by 3, it’s 66.66666. which is the cube of, well, 22.22222. Which makes us pose the question: Does it get more evil the more sixes you tack on? Or merely more of a fraction that is a 6/100,000th of evil? Or, is this question merely really silly?

Signs & Symptoms

What are the signs of overwork? Lack of sleep, irritability, staring at the same line of text for two and a half hours, lack of sleep, and repeating yourself. How can you work less? By letting us work more! Give us a call (see? We’re good for social contact!) and let us schlepp for youReally, you don’t have to work so hard!

Standing By

We realize that the trend is more and more about apps, and that these will be the mode by which all transactions are done in future. But, partly out of nostalgia, and also partly out of a recognition that talking to an app is not satisfying, our phone operators are standing by to take your delivery order. So, give them a call. They’d love to talk to you, and they have to earn that extra 22.22222%.

Boston Bike Win

Our colleagues at Breakaway Boston report that cycling safety up there just got a much needed boost. Cambridge has installed pop-up and protected bicycle lanes on Mass Avenue and Central Square. Moreover, the City has committed to building a more extensive network of pop-up protected lanes this spring. Woohoo!

Stump the Band

Last month we asked you to name the figure that connects Anatolian born Saint Nicholas with America’s Santa Claus. Answer: Sinterklauss, a figure that appeared in Holland and Northern Germany before Santa hit the States.

T-Shirt Question

President Obama and Japanese PM Abe appeared together at Pearl Harbor where they laid a wreath at the USS Arizona. What movie did the Arizona have a cameo in prior to December 7, 1941? The first one to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.