Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 11 November 2006

Autumnal Thanks

It’s that time of the year again; time to prepare to get stuffed to the gills with Thanksgiving meals! Breakaway wishes everyone a happy Thanksgiving holiday, and, if you’re traveling, safe passage to your family. Remember, Breakaway can deliver your holiday goods to you. We’ll even bring the turkey, and any trimmings you can think of.

It’s What Month?

From the we-can’t-make-this-up files: November is (wait for it)…Peanut Butter Lover’s Month! A species of legume native to South America, peanuts and peanut butter form a major staple in the diets of grade schoolers the country over. Hey, who doesn’t love a good PBJ?

Coke, No Rum

Breakaway general manager Andrew Young came back from Barbados, where he did nothing all day except lie comatose on the beach. Unfortunately, the two bottles of rum he bought at the duty free shop, which is past the security check mind you, were interdicted at the plane’s door. Where do you think all that booze goes after confiscation? Party at the TSA!

Yu Who?

This time of year, normally, people get sick as the weather changes. If you readily catch cold, can’t take drafts, and sweat easily, Breakaway staffer and Chinese Medicine student RM says try Yu Ping Feng San (Jade Wind Screen) to help keep from getting ill. Call Breakaway to send a messenger to Chinatown to get it for you. That will keep winter’s bite off yu. We mean, you.

Nomenclature

It’s come to our attention lately that people seem confused about roundtrips. Just for the record, a roundtrip is from you, to the drop off, and back to you (or from your client, to you and back). If it’s picking up from somewhere and coming to you, with nothing going back, that’s an outside pickup. Lastly, a run where your office isn’t involved at all is referred to as an outside-outside.

Newsflash!

This just in: Canal Street used to be a real canal!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what was the only extra-territorial enclave in the United States. There were quite a few responses, but the correct answer is the United Nations in New York.

T-Shirt Question

CBGBs in New York has played its last gig. The club where the Ramones and so many others got their start is moving to Las Vegas, to escape a $65,000 rent hike. What do the letters CBGB/OMFUG stand for? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt. 

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 11 October 2006

All Hallows

Breakaway wants to wish all of our customers a healthy, happy, and spooky Halloween. Remember, Breakaway can deliver your candy, costumes, witches brooms, and any Halloween party supplies that you may need. Except the monsters. They tend to sully the trucks when transported.

Breakaway Int’l

The fame of Breakaway has now spread as far as China! Pingye Deliveries, a shipping company based there, wants to partner with Breakaway to handle their shipments here. Tea, anyone?

Squeak!

Breakaway Courier Labs has decided to have a go at both the children’s and pet markets, and have developed what we feel is a sure-fire hit: The Squeaky Envelope! Looks just like a stuffed business envelope, but emits an adorable, “squeak!” when squeezed. Guaranteed to provide hours of squeaky fun to your under 7-year-old or golden retriever. Or, the squeaking can help your dog retrieve your 7-year-old!

Skunkworks    

It had to happen sometime. Breakaway’s owner was cycling to work at 5am when he spied a skunk crossing the road. Unable to swerve because of an approaching car, RK hit the brakes, but too late! He hit the critter, his friend hit him, and then his friend went sprawling – on top of the skunk. Not too pleased, the skunk did its thing. Now the whole office smells like the great outdoors. If anyone knows a good remedy for skunk spray (not tomato juice!), call Robert Martinez and let him know.

Traffic Stopper

Living in the big city, you get used to seeing certain things, but even this got our attention. A brand new Lamborghini running the light near Breakaway HQ, without plates. Naturally, the driver was pulled over, and arrested. Who was it? None other than rapper Fifty Cent himself. Although it’ll take more than that to pay the fine, no doubt.

Zen Talk

“When you chase the world, it runs from you. When you run from the world, it chases you.”

Excerpted from Zen Comics, by Ioanna Salajan. 

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what was the only extra-territorial enclave in the United States. Quite a few people tried to answer this, and we had some creative answers (including Guantanamo) but the correct answer is the United Nations in New York.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 8 August 2006

Brand X

Our customer called in the dead of night. “We need your truck services to distribute Brand X!” Breakaway lift-gate trucks pulled up to the warehouse in New Jersey, as black suited men loaded the pallets. Then, we were off, delivering Brand X safely to the Breakaway compound for distribution around the city. The pallets are all gone now, distributed to watering holes and speakeasies all through Gotham. But we’ll never forget Brand X!  If you have a Brand X ready to market, we can help you with the logistics. We’re waiting for your call.

Hot Times In The City

Only mad dogs of Englishman go out in the noon day sun, according to the old song. Of course, they never had to do it while hauling packages, dodging traffic and inhaling exhaust fumes! With heat indices topping 100 degrees, even our toughest road warriors are feeling a tad fatigued. All we ask is that you point the way to the water cooler, so they can continue going out into the hot summer sun.

Power Outages

Speaking of hot summers, it should be noted that with gazillions of air conditioners running all around the city, Con Ed is having a hell of a time keeping the juice flowing. Two train lines went down already in July (the IRT 1,2,3 and V,F lines). These things can affect delivery times (like the strike did, but not as bad), so prepare your package in advance, and call ahead to reserve your messenger. That’ll help take the heat off you and us.

Summertime Riddle

The rich need it, the poor have it, it is more powerful than God and if you eat it, you will die. What is it? The first person to answer this question will receive it as a prize.

We Want You…

...to call us if you have a big truck project. We can’t get enough of ‘em! Especially since we have the trucks and aren’t afraid to use them! Seriously, if you do have a lot of stuff that needs distributing, we’re only a phone call away. We can store your skids at the Breakaway compound.  Call us and keep on trucking.

Elevator Talk

Man 1: Remember, no matter what, always be courteous.

Man 2: Well, yes. Up to a point.

What point might that be?

Just one of the titillating conversations overheard by our messengers everyday. 

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you to tell us where in the United States the oldest, continuous Independence Day celebrations are held and when they started. The answer: Bristol, Rhode Island, which started celebrating on July 4^th, 1777. This has earned Bristol the nickname, “America’s Most Patriotic Town.”

T-Shirt Question

The NY Times is getting a brand new building, designed to be as energy efficient as possible. Who was the designing architect, and who did he collaborate with? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 7 July 2006

Lighting Up the Sky

July, of course, means Independence Day.  We will be open July 3^rd and closed July 4^th. It also means fireworks, lots of fireworks. Where best to view them? We’ve been asking and the normal answer we get is, “From the roof of my building.” Other answers: (NYC) Roosevelt Island, the FDR, DUMBO; (Boston) The Cambridge side of the river, Memorial Drive between the bridges, Exeter and Fairfield streets on the Boston side. Where will you be?

Alright, mea culpa...!

As was eagerly pointed out several times by our observant readers, we got the date for Father’s Day wrong on last month’s newsletter. Your faithful writer was using the wrong calendar. Honestly, though; how many of you out there didn’t catch the mistake? How many of you forgot anyway? Kudos to those of you who did catch it and then let us know. No one will be able to pull the wool over your eyes!

Summer Pleasures

Summer arrived last month on June 21^st, 8:26am (yes, we checked this time). Of course, you could probably already tell with the climbing temperatures and increasing humidity. Now is the time to make that getaway to the beach, summer cottage, or upstate farm. If you’re afraid that you won’t be available to receive an important package or letter, fear not. Breakaway can deliver just about anything within a 300 mile radius of Manhattan.  We will even throw in a dozen bagels if you’re marooned in a locale that sells only the frozen kind.  Call us with the details and we’ll be there!

Cell Phone Chatter

“Well, what about a nose ring? Really, I think you should consider it. Hello…? Hello…?”

Just one of the thousands of titillating conversations overheard by our couriers everyday.

Wonderful Web

So there you are, wasting time on the Internet when you could be working, and then it hits you: you can be on the ‘Net and work at the same time! How? Simple! Place your next order for Breakaway over the Web! It’s fast, easy, and efficiently gets your work done without having to take your mitt off the mouse. Ahh, the miracles of modern living.

July: Tour de France

Who will win this year’s Tour de France is anybody’s guess. Even if you’re not a bike racing fanatic like we are, the French countryside is beautiful.  Instead of spending thousands on airfare, sit back with a glass of wine and a baguette. Enjoy the scenery on OLN and see who will win Lance Armstrong’s yellow jersey.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you to tell us when Fleet Week became such a tradition here in New York City. The answer: since 1984. According to our Orwellian disciples, this is not a coincidence.

T-Shirt Question

Where in the United States is the oldest, continuous Independence Day celebration held and what year did they start? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 6 June 2006

No Ties, Please

It’s June and that means that Father’s Day is just around the corner. Specifically, it’s  on the 16^th. As always, Breakaway is standing ready to help you deliver your gift to fathers all throughout the city. From baseball tickets to brand new couches, we’ve got you covered. But really, can you think of something other than that paisley tie?

Summertime Rolls

It may not feel like it, what with the cool temperatures we’ve been having recently, but summer is definitely around the corner. How do we know? Why, by the clicking of countless freewheels in the Giro d’Italia, Italy’s version of the Tour de France. There’s no Lance Armstrong anymore, but there are still plenty of Americans in the mix for us to root for. After we do our own laps around Central Park, of course.

Celebration Bonanza

June isn’t just the last month of spring; it’s also Graduation Month for countless college seniors around the country. For everyone graduating out there, our congratulations and wishes for future success. If you need something to celebrate after tossing the motorboard, don’t worry. June is packed with holidays, including (we kid you not) Donut Day, Kitchen Klutzes Day, and, our personal favorite, Festival of Utter Confusion Day. Obviously, there needs to be a Clean Up the Cluttered Calendar Day.

Camera Shy

Well, it was worth a try. Recently, here at the Breakaway compound, we bought a bunch of digital video cameras for some cinema verite clips of our staff. Everyone thought it was a great idea, but, as it turns out, those very same people have no desire to be filmed doing what they’re doing. So much for our syndicated program idea, “Breakaway Idol.”

Hello Maria

You may have noticed a change in the timbre of John Handrik’s voice when you call accounting.  Taking his place this month is Breakaway stalwart Maria Ortiz, who has fielded more phone calls for us then all the operators at Verizon. We wish John good luck, and invite you all to welcome Maria to the post of Accounts Receivable Manager.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you to tell us where the first ever NFL Draft took place. The answer: the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia, in 1936. The first ever draft pick, Berrwanger, was drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles, and never played a single game.

T-Shirt Question

As of this writing, Fleet Week is about to get underway here in New York. The ships are docked, and the fighter planes are getting ready for their airshows. This has become quite a tradition here in New York (as well as other cities). When did this tradition get its start? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 5 May 2006

May’s Many Moments

How time marches on! It’s May already. If April showers bring May flowers, then May brings a crop of other days and events. There’s May Day (May 1^st), Mother’s Day (May 14^th), Cinco de Mayo (guess when) and Memorial Day, May 29^th.  Breakaway is ready to bring those May flowers, cards, and other items to Mom, or anyone else you want to send a May gift to.

We Have Storage Space

Do you have cartons in your conference room that haven’t been touched in years? We can move them for you. Both offices have warehousing facilities to store your extra stuff.  From a box, to a couch, to a truckload, we can store your freight long-term and short-term. Please call you local office for pricing & details.

Super Geoff

Intrepid Breakaway Courier Geoff Bickford aka B543 has been scorching the road in this year’s Central Park Bicycle Racing Spring Series. Last weekend he notched his third win of the season with a solo “Breakaway” with two laps remaining. Geoff is between gigs as a university crew coach and finds messenger work the perfect way to maintain peak fitness between breaks from a “real job”.

Elevator Talk

Man to himself: “There are two schools of thought here. Either Dimante is disheveled and nuts or he’s just unconscious.

One of the thousands of titillating conversations overheard by our couriers everyday.

Farewell JH

Today Breakaway bids a sad goodbye to longtime employee and friend John Handrik.  John has worked here since 1994 as a messenger, dispatcher and for the last six years as accounts receivable manager. We would like to express our deep gratitude for all his years of service. You know him from his gorgeous photo that beckons you to pay your invoice promptly. We know him from his large, gentle heart and incisive wit, and also his very big dog named Barlow. We wish him the best of luck. John’s new company produces custom-made cycling apparel:  www.champ-sys.com.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked “By what name is “Mintonette” more commonly known?” The answer: volleyball.

T-Shirt Question

At this newsletter’s press time, we are one day away from the NFL Draft, which is being held at Radio City Music Hall.  Where did the first NFL draft take place? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 4 April 2006

April Festivities

This month is shaping up to be a multicultural one (kind of like every month, here in New York). Both Passover and Easter start this month, on the twelfth and sixteenth, respectively. Luckily, Breakaway is non-denominational, meaning we will deliver your matzoh or your Easter egg coloring kit or whatever else you need to make your holiday fun and festive. If your holiday best is in storage, we’ve got you covered there also, with vans and cars to grab the gear and deliver to your home.

Mo’ Money

Our messengers are professional and hard-working, but that doesn’t mean they’re not opportunistic. Take O574, one of our top aces. As a promotion, a certain bank (which will remain anonymous) was giving away two dollar bills on the street corner, and O574 was lucky enough to get one. Knowing a good thing when he saw it, he proceeded to circle the block and stop for another. Five laps later, he was ten dollars richer. Hey, ten easy bucks are ten easy bucks.

Numbers Racket

We here at Breakaway are always trying to find the most efficient ways to do things, and give that little extra boost for our customers. So, while crunching the numbers, we found a sure fire way you can shave a whopping 0.002 seconds off calling your in your order, with a top rate of possibly 0.01 seconds! How? Simply by referring to your account number rather than your account name when you call. Located on the upper right-hand corner of your bill, your account number gives you an even easier way to identify yourself and sound cool at the same time.

April Anxiety

April is here, and that means it is almost tax time. The deadline to file this month is the seventeenth. So, after you pay your Breakaway Courier invoice, the Fed will be right behind with its hand out. Don’t forget; Breakaway can speed your documents to and from your accountant, post office, or IRS and help take some of the angst out of tax time.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked what shopping innovation Gimbels was known for. The answer, which no one seemed able to find out, was a “bargain basement,” the first of its kind in the city, and way ahead of Filene’s.

Trivia Question

It was in Holyoke, Massachusetts, back in 1895, when William Morgan created the game of Mintonette. The game has since become an American standard, and is played by people all over the world. By what name is “Mintonette” more commonly known? The first person to call Bob Martinez with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 3 March 2006

Happy…Something

Well, let’s see. March 1^st is Ash Wednesday, followed by International Women’s Day (the 8^th), Purim (the 13^th), Saint Patrick’s Day (the 17^th), el Dia de la Emancipacion (Puerto Rico, the 22^nd) and we wind up with Cesar Chavez Day (the 31^st). So, if you want to send someone something for any one (or all) of these special days, we’ve got you covered six ways to Sunday.

A Moveable Feast

Being the gourmands we are, we’re excited that Trader Joe’s will be opening soon on Union Square. We’re also excited because it means more work for us! If you are also a fan of fresh, gourmet food, classy imports, and fresh baked bread, but don’t have the time to shop for it yourself, we’ll be more than happy to pick your order up for you.

Decked Out

Sometimes, it pays to go low tech. Case in point: Recently, Mayor Mike fired an employee for playing computer solitaire while on the job. Apparently, the guy’s story about practicing for a Texas Hold ‘Em tournament didn’t work out. Moral of the story? Use actual, not virtual, playing cards.

Elevator Talk

Overheard in an elevator (insert cheesy voice here): "Honey, did you read the memo I left for you on the dining room table?"

How soon we forget Valentine's day...

One of thousands of titillating conversations overheard by our couriers every day.

Clean as a Whistle

If you’re thinking that you’d love to order an entire banquet and have it delivered, but are afraid of truck cooties, have no fear. Walt “D807” Davis just had his truck steam-cleaned. He heard about the steaming done to meat-carrying trucks, and thought it was a great idea himself. Now, the Breakaway truck is clean enough to eat off of. Although, a table is way more comfortable. Trust us on that one.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked you to tell us M.I.T.’s motto and its meaning. A lot of the answers we got were original and, alas, unprintable. However, the correct answer is, “Mens et Manus,” Latin for, “From Mind to Hand.”

Trivia Question

Although people under the age of 30 probably won’t remember it, Gimbels was a department store that gave Macy’s a run for its money back in the day. Located across from Macy’s on 34^th, Gimbels finally closed its doors for good on September 27^th, 1986. For what shopping innovation was Gimbels known? The first person to call Bob Martinez with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug. Also excellent for green beer.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 2 February 2006

New Year Part II

Gung Hay Fat Choy! January 29^th was Chinese New Year. According to the Chinese calendar (which is a lunar, not solar, calendar) the new year is 4702, the Year of the Dog. Like man’s best friend, people born in the Year of the Dog are considered to be loyal, honest, and inspire confidence. Woof!

February Feeling

It’s February, and you know what that means. No, not the Super Bowl, you sport’s nut. We’re talking about Valentine’s Day, which falls on a Tuesday this year. As always, if you have a last minute gift you want to deliver to your love interest, Breakaway can rush it to her (or him) faster than cupid can re-knock his bow with an arrow. As long as it isn’t Axe body spray.

Please, Allow Us!

Another holiday season has come and gone, and once again you got a really ugly sweater from Uncle Ike. Problem is, you don’t have the time to exchange it. Well, fear not! For a reasonable price, one of our messengers will take that sweater and exchange it for you. For that matter, you can hire a messenger by the hour for whatever needs doing: filing papers, walking the dog, feeding the cat; anything within reason. Sorry; “hits” on other persons not allowed.

Cell Phone Chatter

"Hello? Jimmy? Yes, thank you! Yes, I couldn’t have done it with out you! What? Yes? Thank you! No, no, thank you!

One of thousands of titillating conversations overheard by our couriers every day.

History’s Lessons

February is Black History Month here in the States (there’s one in Britain, also), a time when Americans celebrate the memories of Black leaders sung and unsung, from Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. DuBois to Rosa Parks to Malcolm X. History is still being made though. So, don’t just look back; look ahead, too.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked you to tell us the meaning behind the Mets’ official uniform colors. The answer we were looking for was that the colors represent the two teams that New York lost: Orange for the NY Giants and blue for the Brooklyn Dodgers. This generated great controversy and a lot of different answers, including a 15-page fax. Most popular of the alternative answers we received was that these are also New York State’s official colors. Numerous calls to Pataki’s office, State officials and Mr. Met failed to sort out the controversy, so we’re sticking with our original answer. So, there!

T-Shirt Question

What is the motto written on M.I.T.’s seal, and what does it mean? The first person to call John Handrik with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway coffee mug. 

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 1 January 2006

Auld Lang Syne

2005 was an eventful year; what with tsunami, hurricanes, earthquakes and politics with no Intelligent Design whatsoever. We’re looking forward to the New Year with anticipation, ready to embrace the future. Here’s wishing all our customers a healthy and happy new year.

Giving

Upset because gift giving is over? You still have a chance! January 6^th is Three Kings Day (Dia de los Reyes), when the Three Magi visit good latino girls and boys and leave them gifts. As always, Breakaway is standing by to deliver, in case the camels get sick or something. 

Receiving

Thank you to all the customers who sent cards and gifts. We were really touched. All we have to do now is work off all the chocolates many people sent!

Strike This!

The transit strike impacted all businesses and Breakaway was no exception, with many personnel living in outer boroughs, and commercial vehicles banned from the city until 11:00am. Kudos to the many messengers who soldiered on, some of whom walked eight miles to report to work. Thanks also to those customers who worked with us to make things as smooth as possible.

Small World

Odd things happen. During the strike, our driver K888 stopped to offer a young woman a ride into Manhattan. As it happens, the person was Sara, a worker with one of our clients. A perfect example of how a random act of kindness turns into a case of synchronicity. Or luck.

Rising Costs

The minimum wage in New York State will be going up this year by seventy-five cents. On top of the previous raise, this represents a thirty percent increase in 12 months. Stay tuned for a modest price increase.

Boston Bumming

Our comrades-in-arms at Breakaway Boston report that a great tragedy has befallen Beantown. Namely, the fact that Johnny Damon has become a Yankee. Is a new curse in the offing? Will this one strike New York instead? Will people care that he’s now clean shaven? Only time will tell.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you to name the radio station that the NPR show “Car Talk” got its start on. Many answers came in sounding something like, “that M.I.T. station” which was incorrect. The actual answer: WBUR in Boston.

Trivia Question

The New York Mets uniform colors are orange and blue. Why? The first person to call John Handrik with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway coffee mug.