Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 3 March 2007

Erin Go Bragh!

It’s March, and that means another type of march: the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade! Along with Gaelic gaiety, this also means street shutdowns to allow for the parade and for marchers to occupy sidestreets. But, with some genuine, leprechaun issue four-leaf clovers, our messengers will still be able to fly through the marchers and deliver your packages. Not even green beer besotted revelers can slow us!

Spring Forward

Daylight Savings Time will, for the first time, begin in March. Normally, DST begins the first Sunday of April. This year, as a result of the U.S. Energy Policy Act of 2005, the country is going to try it early in an attempt to save energy resources. In any event, we’re going to lose an hour on March 11^th (but, you’ll get it back in October), so mark your calendar

Celebrity Products

Breakaway HQ is undergoing a bit of a facelift and we noticed something interesting. Some famous people have products you would never  associate with them in the first place. The one that caught our eye is Kathy Ireland furniture. Kathy Ireland furniture? We decided to try our hand at it, and come fall we’re releasing a line of Breakaway lingerie. Made from 100% spandex, you could say it’s real performance wear.

Veritas Horizon

There are times you wonder when technology really lives up to the promises that it makes. Case in point: our phone system. Basically, Verizon took longer than anticipated to switch our POTS line over to T1, resulting in two hours of busy signals. The problem is fixed now, and you can once again connect with our perky and pleasant phone operators.

March Madness

It wouldn’t be a newsletter about March without even a passing reference to March Madness, the annual college basketball fever that afflicts the nation. As of this writing, UCLA is one step away from the PAC-10 championship, while Memphis has clinched its second straight Conference USA title. Are you infected also? So are a lot of our messengers! Whatever you do, don’t get them started!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked a real dome-scratcher. We wanted to know at what chain you could still get a good coffee deal, with the added hint that there’s a trick involved. We didn’t think it’d be that hard, but only one customer tried it. The answer: Starbucks! The trick involved is to bring a Starbucks paper cup in with you, and ask for a refill. The price? Fifty cents.

Trivia Question

America has a long literary tradition that, surprisingly, reaches  back farther than Stephen King. What book is regarded as the first American novel? The first person to answer will get to choose between a coveted Breakaway t-shirt or coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 2 February 2007

We Deliver Love

February is here and that means that sweethearts across the nation will be thinking of ways they can outdo the romantic hijinks they cooked up last Valentine’s Day. We may not be able to help you with setting up the ultimate romantic ski vacation, but we can deliver the tickets, the skis, and whatever other equipment and/or edibles to make your Valentine’s unforgettable.

Going Sideways

Napa Valley Vintners was in a fix. They had seven pallets of wine stranded in a warehouse in NJ without any way to get it to various wine tasting events throughout NYC. Naturally, after hearing about us through the grapevine, they called Breakaway! We picked up the wine, held it at our facility, handled the logistics, and we delivered the goods to waiting oenophiles across NYC. How can we save you?

Sinking Feeling

The horror! The drama! The humanity! The dirty dishes! Yes, the kitchen sink at Breakaway headquarters was out for the last week or so, having been clogged with food. Naturally, we called the plumber, but it turned out to be a challenge for him. Plunging produced no results. Lye and Pequa (a type of super draino) proved to be ineffective. In the end, he had to snake out the pipes, which finally worked. But not before we had accumulated one heck of a dishwashing chore.

Cold At Last

Now this is more like it! New Year’s Day, it was 70 degrees out. Last week in January, in the twenties, like a good New York City winter oughta be. Now we can complain about the cold properly, and say how we can’t wait for the summer heat.

Press One

This month we will be installing a new phone system to take advantage of all the features that the internet has brought. Theoretically, we could be in Hawaii and still answer the phone.  While we’ve long resisted automated operators, when you call Breakaway you will be asked to press 1 for biking or 2 for trucking. You can, of course, always push zero to talk to your favorite phone op. Plus, the new phone system comes in magenta.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked a real dome-scratcher. We wanted to know at what chain you could still get a good coffee deal, with the added hint that there’s a trick involved. We didn’t think it’d be that hard, but only one customer tried it. The answer: Starbucks! The trick involved is to bring a starbucks cup in with you, and ask for a refill. The price for a refill is fifty cents.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 1 January 2007

Ring In the New

Feliz Año Nuevo, Bonne Annee, Glukkig Nieuwjaar, and Auld Lang Zyne! All of which is Breakaway Courier’s way of saying Happy New Year! Didn’t think we were multi-lingual, did you?

Street Scoop

When Breakaway Courier wants to know the lowdown and be on the up and up, we resort to the CIA: Courier Intelligence Agency. This special network of messenger operatives lets us know everything we need to know about street conditions, and tricks of the trade. Hey, you gotta stay informed in today’s world.

Holiday Calories

Breakaway would like to thank all our customers who took the time and effort to send us gifts, ranging from simple cards to bags of pistachios and even chocolates. We are very touched by the effort, and are inspired to  continue to provide the best possible service in New York City and Boston. All we have to do now is hire cycling guru and coach Chris Carmichael to reduce our waistlines from the pistachios, candy, and chocolate.

Bonus Bonanza

Goldmine $acks – er – we mean Goldman Sachs isn’t the only one that dished out bonuses this year. Breakaway handed out the largesse at Christmas time also! Although, admittedly, all our bonuses combined wouldn’t pay the bonus of the lowest level Goldmine $acks broker. So, instead of lining up at the car dealer for a custom Ferrari, we’ll be heading over to the hobby store for the matchbox version. Envy gets you nowhere.

Top That, Santa!

Breakaway Courier’s delivery volume skyrocketed for the Christmas holiday. But, we’re proud to report that our messengers were fully up to snuff, especially our trucking department. With few exceptions, the city’s premier  bikers glided in and out of traffic with the panache of Fred Astaire, keeping pace with the high volume. Thanks also to all our customers who called their orders in as early as possible, with as much info as possible. That helped things run smoother than a sleigh on fresh snow.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what law in Massachusetts named legendary basketball coach Arnold “Red” Auerbach by name. The answer: A law in Boston stipulating that there will be no smoking in municipal buildings, unless it’s Arnold “Red” Auerbach lighting his cigar in the TD Arena.

Trivia Question

The White House has long been the seat of Presidential power, but where was that seat originally located and what stands there today? The first person to call Rob Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt, or coffee mug. Your choice.

Breakaway News Volume No. 10 Issue No. 12 December 2006

Huge Holiday Cheer

So you ordered the giant stuffed panda for the little one and the home gym for your significant other. Now all you need is some way of getting them to your doorstep. Well, as it so happens, we are more than ready to help out with all your Christmas deliveries, especially the giant ones! Our trucks, including our  14 ft. lift-gates, are ready when you are.

Warming Watch

Fact or fiction? With global warming continuing apace, one NYC billionaire is determined to do something about it. He’s bought an apartment for $24 million and is stocking it with two of every type of animal known to man. Hope it has high ceilings for the giraffe.

BioFaire

New York City was the host this November of the BioResearch Product Faire, and Breakaway played its part, shuttling the boxes of free giveaways, biotech company literature, and props to and from the shows in one of our lift-gate trucks. We’re proud to report that it went smoother than the skating rink up at the north pole (Santa, hint hint!). Trade show deliveries and logistics is one of our big strengths, so next time you and your company are doing the Javits, give us a call.

Tuttle, Not Buttle

Ever have this happen to you? You receive a bill for someone that sounds a lot like you, but who isn’t you, and, furthermore, doesn’t even exist. Sound crazy? Maybe, but it’s happened to us. We’re calling the NYS Department of Departmental Redundant Redundancies to straighten the mess out.

Bonus: Free coffee mug to the first person to get the title reference.

Online Ordering

Land’s End and other e-tailers aren’t the only place you can order online this holiday season. You can also order online with us! If you have a million and one things to do this holiday, and can’t get away from your computer at work for a moment, you can always order your Breakaway messenger via the Net. More than that, you can track his progress online as well. And you thought the Internet was a time waster.

Stump the Band…

Last month, we asked you to tell us what CBGB/OMFUG stood for. A lot of people answered this one, with the winning answer coming just one day after we sent out the newsletter. The answer: Country Blue Grass Blues/Other Music For Uplifting Gormandisers.

T-Shirt Question

Legendary Boston Celtic coach Arnold “Red” Auerbach died this October. Famous for lighting a cigar when victory was certain, he led the Celtics to nine NBA titles (eight of them straight victories). What Boston law mentions Red by name? The first person to call with the correct answer will receive a Breakaway Courier t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 11 November 2006

Autumnal Thanks

It’s that time of the year again; time to prepare to get stuffed to the gills with Thanksgiving meals! Breakaway wishes everyone a happy Thanksgiving holiday, and, if you’re traveling, safe passage to your family. Remember, Breakaway can deliver your holiday goods to you. We’ll even bring the turkey, and any trimmings you can think of.

It’s What Month?

From the we-can’t-make-this-up files: November is (wait for it)…Peanut Butter Lover’s Month! A species of legume native to South America, peanuts and peanut butter form a major staple in the diets of grade schoolers the country over. Hey, who doesn’t love a good PBJ?

Coke, No Rum

Breakaway general manager Andrew Young came back from Barbados, where he did nothing all day except lie comatose on the beach. Unfortunately, the two bottles of rum he bought at the duty free shop, which is past the security check mind you, were interdicted at the plane’s door. Where do you think all that booze goes after confiscation? Party at the TSA!

Yu Who?

This time of year, normally, people get sick as the weather changes. If you readily catch cold, can’t take drafts, and sweat easily, Breakaway staffer and Chinese Medicine student RM says try Yu Ping Feng San (Jade Wind Screen) to help keep from getting ill. Call Breakaway to send a messenger to Chinatown to get it for you. That will keep winter’s bite off yu. We mean, you.

Nomenclature

It’s come to our attention lately that people seem confused about roundtrips. Just for the record, a roundtrip is from you, to the drop off, and back to you (or from your client, to you and back). If it’s picking up from somewhere and coming to you, with nothing going back, that’s an outside pickup. Lastly, a run where your office isn’t involved at all is referred to as an outside-outside.

Newsflash!

This just in: Canal Street used to be a real canal!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what was the only extra-territorial enclave in the United States. There were quite a few responses, but the correct answer is the United Nations in New York.

T-Shirt Question

CBGBs in New York has played its last gig. The club where the Ramones and so many others got their start is moving to Las Vegas, to escape a $65,000 rent hike. What do the letters CBGB/OMFUG stand for? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt. 

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 11 October 2006

All Hallows

Breakaway wants to wish all of our customers a healthy, happy, and spooky Halloween. Remember, Breakaway can deliver your candy, costumes, witches brooms, and any Halloween party supplies that you may need. Except the monsters. They tend to sully the trucks when transported.

Breakaway Int’l

The fame of Breakaway has now spread as far as China! Pingye Deliveries, a shipping company based there, wants to partner with Breakaway to handle their shipments here. Tea, anyone?

Squeak!

Breakaway Courier Labs has decided to have a go at both the children’s and pet markets, and have developed what we feel is a sure-fire hit: The Squeaky Envelope! Looks just like a stuffed business envelope, but emits an adorable, “squeak!” when squeezed. Guaranteed to provide hours of squeaky fun to your under 7-year-old or golden retriever. Or, the squeaking can help your dog retrieve your 7-year-old!

Skunkworks    

It had to happen sometime. Breakaway’s owner was cycling to work at 5am when he spied a skunk crossing the road. Unable to swerve because of an approaching car, RK hit the brakes, but too late! He hit the critter, his friend hit him, and then his friend went sprawling – on top of the skunk. Not too pleased, the skunk did its thing. Now the whole office smells like the great outdoors. If anyone knows a good remedy for skunk spray (not tomato juice!), call Robert Martinez and let him know.

Traffic Stopper

Living in the big city, you get used to seeing certain things, but even this got our attention. A brand new Lamborghini running the light near Breakaway HQ, without plates. Naturally, the driver was pulled over, and arrested. Who was it? None other than rapper Fifty Cent himself. Although it’ll take more than that to pay the fine, no doubt.

Zen Talk

“When you chase the world, it runs from you. When you run from the world, it chases you.”

Excerpted from Zen Comics, by Ioanna Salajan. 

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what was the only extra-territorial enclave in the United States. Quite a few people tried to answer this, and we had some creative answers (including Guantanamo) but the correct answer is the United Nations in New York.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 8 August 2006

Brand X

Our customer called in the dead of night. “We need your truck services to distribute Brand X!” Breakaway lift-gate trucks pulled up to the warehouse in New Jersey, as black suited men loaded the pallets. Then, we were off, delivering Brand X safely to the Breakaway compound for distribution around the city. The pallets are all gone now, distributed to watering holes and speakeasies all through Gotham. But we’ll never forget Brand X!  If you have a Brand X ready to market, we can help you with the logistics. We’re waiting for your call.

Hot Times In The City

Only mad dogs of Englishman go out in the noon day sun, according to the old song. Of course, they never had to do it while hauling packages, dodging traffic and inhaling exhaust fumes! With heat indices topping 100 degrees, even our toughest road warriors are feeling a tad fatigued. All we ask is that you point the way to the water cooler, so they can continue going out into the hot summer sun.

Power Outages

Speaking of hot summers, it should be noted that with gazillions of air conditioners running all around the city, Con Ed is having a hell of a time keeping the juice flowing. Two train lines went down already in July (the IRT 1,2,3 and V,F lines). These things can affect delivery times (like the strike did, but not as bad), so prepare your package in advance, and call ahead to reserve your messenger. That’ll help take the heat off you and us.

Summertime Riddle

The rich need it, the poor have it, it is more powerful than God and if you eat it, you will die. What is it? The first person to answer this question will receive it as a prize.

We Want You…

...to call us if you have a big truck project. We can’t get enough of ‘em! Especially since we have the trucks and aren’t afraid to use them! Seriously, if you do have a lot of stuff that needs distributing, we’re only a phone call away. We can store your skids at the Breakaway compound.  Call us and keep on trucking.

Elevator Talk

Man 1: Remember, no matter what, always be courteous.

Man 2: Well, yes. Up to a point.

What point might that be?

Just one of the titillating conversations overheard by our messengers everyday. 

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you to tell us where in the United States the oldest, continuous Independence Day celebrations are held and when they started. The answer: Bristol, Rhode Island, which started celebrating on July 4^th, 1777. This has earned Bristol the nickname, “America’s Most Patriotic Town.”

T-Shirt Question

The NY Times is getting a brand new building, designed to be as energy efficient as possible. Who was the designing architect, and who did he collaborate with? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 7 July 2006

Lighting Up the Sky

July, of course, means Independence Day.  We will be open July 3^rd and closed July 4^th. It also means fireworks, lots of fireworks. Where best to view them? We’ve been asking and the normal answer we get is, “From the roof of my building.” Other answers: (NYC) Roosevelt Island, the FDR, DUMBO; (Boston) The Cambridge side of the river, Memorial Drive between the bridges, Exeter and Fairfield streets on the Boston side. Where will you be?

Alright, mea culpa...!

As was eagerly pointed out several times by our observant readers, we got the date for Father’s Day wrong on last month’s newsletter. Your faithful writer was using the wrong calendar. Honestly, though; how many of you out there didn’t catch the mistake? How many of you forgot anyway? Kudos to those of you who did catch it and then let us know. No one will be able to pull the wool over your eyes!

Summer Pleasures

Summer arrived last month on June 21^st, 8:26am (yes, we checked this time). Of course, you could probably already tell with the climbing temperatures and increasing humidity. Now is the time to make that getaway to the beach, summer cottage, or upstate farm. If you’re afraid that you won’t be available to receive an important package or letter, fear not. Breakaway can deliver just about anything within a 300 mile radius of Manhattan.  We will even throw in a dozen bagels if you’re marooned in a locale that sells only the frozen kind.  Call us with the details and we’ll be there!

Cell Phone Chatter

“Well, what about a nose ring? Really, I think you should consider it. Hello…? Hello…?”

Just one of the thousands of titillating conversations overheard by our couriers everyday.

Wonderful Web

So there you are, wasting time on the Internet when you could be working, and then it hits you: you can be on the ‘Net and work at the same time! How? Simple! Place your next order for Breakaway over the Web! It’s fast, easy, and efficiently gets your work done without having to take your mitt off the mouse. Ahh, the miracles of modern living.

July: Tour de France

Who will win this year’s Tour de France is anybody’s guess. Even if you’re not a bike racing fanatic like we are, the French countryside is beautiful.  Instead of spending thousands on airfare, sit back with a glass of wine and a baguette. Enjoy the scenery on OLN and see who will win Lance Armstrong’s yellow jersey.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you to tell us when Fleet Week became such a tradition here in New York City. The answer: since 1984. According to our Orwellian disciples, this is not a coincidence.

T-Shirt Question

Where in the United States is the oldest, continuous Independence Day celebration held and what year did they start? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 6 June 2006

No Ties, Please

It’s June and that means that Father’s Day is just around the corner. Specifically, it’s  on the 16^th. As always, Breakaway is standing ready to help you deliver your gift to fathers all throughout the city. From baseball tickets to brand new couches, we’ve got you covered. But really, can you think of something other than that paisley tie?

Summertime Rolls

It may not feel like it, what with the cool temperatures we’ve been having recently, but summer is definitely around the corner. How do we know? Why, by the clicking of countless freewheels in the Giro d’Italia, Italy’s version of the Tour de France. There’s no Lance Armstrong anymore, but there are still plenty of Americans in the mix for us to root for. After we do our own laps around Central Park, of course.

Celebration Bonanza

June isn’t just the last month of spring; it’s also Graduation Month for countless college seniors around the country. For everyone graduating out there, our congratulations and wishes for future success. If you need something to celebrate after tossing the motorboard, don’t worry. June is packed with holidays, including (we kid you not) Donut Day, Kitchen Klutzes Day, and, our personal favorite, Festival of Utter Confusion Day. Obviously, there needs to be a Clean Up the Cluttered Calendar Day.

Camera Shy

Well, it was worth a try. Recently, here at the Breakaway compound, we bought a bunch of digital video cameras for some cinema verite clips of our staff. Everyone thought it was a great idea, but, as it turns out, those very same people have no desire to be filmed doing what they’re doing. So much for our syndicated program idea, “Breakaway Idol.”

Hello Maria

You may have noticed a change in the timbre of John Handrik’s voice when you call accounting.  Taking his place this month is Breakaway stalwart Maria Ortiz, who has fielded more phone calls for us then all the operators at Verizon. We wish John good luck, and invite you all to welcome Maria to the post of Accounts Receivable Manager.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you to tell us where the first ever NFL Draft took place. The answer: the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia, in 1936. The first ever draft pick, Berrwanger, was drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles, and never played a single game.

T-Shirt Question

As of this writing, Fleet Week is about to get underway here in New York. The ships are docked, and the fighter planes are getting ready for their airshows. This has become quite a tradition here in New York (as well as other cities). When did this tradition get its start? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 11 Issue No. 5 May 2006

May’s Many Moments

How time marches on! It’s May already. If April showers bring May flowers, then May brings a crop of other days and events. There’s May Day (May 1^st), Mother’s Day (May 14^th), Cinco de Mayo (guess when) and Memorial Day, May 29^th.  Breakaway is ready to bring those May flowers, cards, and other items to Mom, or anyone else you want to send a May gift to.

We Have Storage Space

Do you have cartons in your conference room that haven’t been touched in years? We can move them for you. Both offices have warehousing facilities to store your extra stuff.  From a box, to a couch, to a truckload, we can store your freight long-term and short-term. Please call you local office for pricing & details.

Super Geoff

Intrepid Breakaway Courier Geoff Bickford aka B543 has been scorching the road in this year’s Central Park Bicycle Racing Spring Series. Last weekend he notched his third win of the season with a solo “Breakaway” with two laps remaining. Geoff is between gigs as a university crew coach and finds messenger work the perfect way to maintain peak fitness between breaks from a “real job”.

Elevator Talk

Man to himself: “There are two schools of thought here. Either Dimante is disheveled and nuts or he’s just unconscious.

One of the thousands of titillating conversations overheard by our couriers everyday.

Farewell JH

Today Breakaway bids a sad goodbye to longtime employee and friend John Handrik.  John has worked here since 1994 as a messenger, dispatcher and for the last six years as accounts receivable manager. We would like to express our deep gratitude for all his years of service. You know him from his gorgeous photo that beckons you to pay your invoice promptly. We know him from his large, gentle heart and incisive wit, and also his very big dog named Barlow. We wish him the best of luck. John’s new company produces custom-made cycling apparel:  www.champ-sys.com.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked “By what name is “Mintonette” more commonly known?” The answer: volleyball.

T-Shirt Question

At this newsletter’s press time, we are one day away from the NFL Draft, which is being held at Radio City Music Hall.  Where did the first NFL draft take place? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a Breakaway coffee mug.