Breakaway News Volume No. 10 Issue No. 4 April 2005

Weather and Time

Ah, Spring. When a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love, chocolate, and the resulting mountain of credit card debt. Our fancy turns to thoughts of snowless streets, blue skies, and fabulous riding conditions. With a really brutal winter behind us, delivery times are going to pick up, fast, so have that package ready when you call. And please, make sure it’s thoroughly labeled.

Rolling Along

There are health nuts, fanatics, and then there’s our very own Office Manager Andy Young. Andy recently acquired a new set of small diameter/high difficulty bicycle “rollers” to train on while in the office. Apparently, running up and down the 14-story stairwell five times in a row and doing bike laps in Central Park just wasn’t enough.

Breakaway R&D

A new study confirms that world ocean temperatures are rising – fast. On top of this, there is evidence that the Himalayan glaciers are receding at a rapid rate. Climate change is coming, and Breakaway is prepared. We are currently testing a new fleet of jet skis, for when NYC gets submerged. The one-man personal subs are still on the drawing board, though. This means that customers at ground level are out of luck.

Ring It In

Breakaway’s Communications Officer and Radio Guru Gil Ortiz keeps all our radios crackling so we can provide top-notch service. He’s also become obsessed with a fun feature of modern cell/radios: ring tones. His phone can emulate Homer Simpson, play Darth Vader’s theme and call out “Hello” like the Three Stooges. All of which begs the question: If it’s not a bell ringing, why is it still a “ring” tone?

So, You Want to Be a Messenger?

Last week, we hired a young man who was brisk on his bike, seemed intelligent, and who’d said he’d been a messenger in Seattle and Chicago. After two days here in the Big Apple, he quit, crying, “I can’t handle New York!”, as he ran out the door, leaving a trail of messenger paraphernalia in his wake. Due diligence revealed that he’d only hung out with the messengers out west, while dreaming romantic dreams of the messenger life. In the words of our own S546, he was a “pose-enger.” Our final advice to the wannabe? Click your Ruby Bike Shoes together three times and say, “There’s no place like home…”

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked for the name of the author and former messenger who had written the “Rosy Crucifixion” trilogy. For a bonus, we also asked for the fictitious name of his messenger company. Answers: Henry Miller was the author and Cosmo Demonic was the company.

 T-Shirt Question

Which long time, late resident of Boston was also a world renowned master of taijiquan (t’ai chi to most people) and lived to the ripe old age of 103, after having taught thousands of Beantowners? The first person with the correct answer to call John Handrik will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.