Breakaway News Volume No. 14 Issue No. 3 March 2009

Green and Lucky

Breakaway wishes all our customers a Happy Saint Patrick’s Day. It’s said that deliveries made on Saint Paddy’s are extra lucky, so be sure to call our leprechauns to handle your rush orders of emeralds and four-leaf clovers from the market.

The Fallen Mighty

These days, we have the darndest applicants showing up. We had several messenger wannabes ask us how much of a bonus they will get, who will clean their bicycle, who will launder their clothes, and to schedule “a standing 1:00 PM” with the company masseur. What fun we had breaking the news to them.


As we all know, time is money, and money is very tight these days. So, if you find that productivity is lagging because menial tasks slow you down, rent one of our messengers. You can rent a messenger for the hour, the day, the week or month. Our courier will schlep, file, stuff, and organize, all for a low price, so you can get on with the important stuff.

Elevator Talk

“Look, just send me a tweet. No, that’s not a tweet, that’s a status update. They’re different. Whaddaya mean, why don’t you twitter? Look, just tweet me…”

Just some of the titillating conversation overheard by our messengers every day.

Flip Flop

A broken flip flop in our office has come to symbolize the broken economy.  RK’s flip flop has broken in half and needs to be replaced.  But there is no capital for the flip flop upgrade.  We’ll just have to walk barefoot until the stimulus comes through. When the flip flop is replaced, you’ll be the first to know. 

Goods News for M510

Former messenger M510 has finally done it. Six years after starting school, he’s finally graduated with a Masters degree in Chinese Medicine. He says he’s elated to be practicing, but hasn’t figured out how to use his acupuncture on the packages and deliveries we handle.

Somethin’ for Nothin’

Competition every month is pretty fierce to answer the trivia question. People really, really want that t-shirt. Hey, who doesn’t want the Bikeman emblazoned across their chest? Now, you can get it the easy way; activate an online account with Breakaway, and you’ll get a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked, when was the first public printing of paper money in Western civilization and where? Answer: In Massachusetts, 1690. £7,000 in public paper currency was printed, un-backed by gold or metal, to help pay expenses related to military action against Canada during King William's War.

T-Shirt Question

What Revolutionary War hero has a park drive and circle named in her honor? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.