Breakaway News Volume No. 14 Issue No. 8 August 2009

Court Jester 

With the economic slowdown, and the bucolic summer days, some of our messengers have some extra down time. Breakaway is rolling out a new service: court jester. For a fee of $29.95/hour, our courier will don full fool costume, in the heraldic colors of your choosing. Jester paraphernalia (rattles and the like) is optional.

Sales Force     

Breakaway has a new salesman, William Stepp.  He is also known as Wild One or W1. Don’t be surprised if W1 pays a visit.

Speaking in Angles

With down time on our hands and tourists all over, we’ve done a study of people’s neck angles and what they communicate. An angle of zero (eyes straight ahead) is neutral. Tilted up 90 degrees: lost tourist. Tilted down 45 degrees: just laid off. Laterally flexed between 50 & 60 degrees: habitual cell phone user. Tilted down 45 degrees with twitchy thumbs: habitual texter. You can join the fun also; all you need is a protractor.

Congrats Contador

Breakaway congratulates Spaniard Alberto Contador on his Tour de France victory. Cool as a cucumber, faster than a speeding bullet, and able to climb like a billy goat, Contador convincingly beat the field for his second Tour title. Ole!


You’ve laid off half your staff but now you need someone to come in for just a few hours. You could hire someone part-time, or you could rent one of our couriers by the hour. For a fee, our courier will become Guy/Gal Friday, and perform any task within reason. Call our sales department for details.

Roadside Seating

So far, so good. It seems that Mayor Bloomberg’s plan to convert some stretches of city street into outdoor seating space is going smoothly. A recent jaunt to the outdoor space in front of Macy’s at Herald Square found almost all chairs in use, and a chess fair going on.

Wither Thy Bone!

A recent study showed that pro bicyclists, as well as extremely strong amateurs, are at risk for developing osteopenia, a lost of bone density. This is just a step below osteoporosis, or softening of the bone. The real culprit seems to be loss of calcium through sweat. So, eat your greens, drink your milk, and watch your electrolytes!

Stump the Band

Last month we asked what bicycle the protagonist of the movie “Breaking Away” rode and loved. Answer: Dave, the protagonist, rode a bicycle manufactured by Masi.

T-Shirt Question

Now that the summer heat and humidity are finally here, we thought we’d ask this: What was the lowest temperature ever recorded in Central Park? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.