Breakaway News Volume No. 18 Issue No. 12 December 2013

Happy Holidays!

Well, the holidays are just rolling right along. No time to clean up  after the Big Turkey Chowdown; it's time to prepare for the next big event! If you're planning a Christmas shindig, be sure to use Breakaway to get all your items delivered. Our magic sleighs are standing by. We know, they look like cyclists and vehicles, but use your imagination.

 P.O. Box Epilogue

After this month, the blood-curdling and catastrophic event we have been predicting all along will finally come to pass. No, not another season of the Kardashians. We mean the closing of our P.O. Box, where we used to receive all our remittances. Henceforth, please forward all remittances to our street address: 444 W 36th St., NY, NY 10018-6344. We appreciate your cooperation.

Getting Traction?

“Traction” is a Wall Street buzzword referring to the ability of an idea or product to take hold of the market. Well, the nascent trend seems to be the big boys losing traction. Songstress Adele turned down $19 million to be the face of L'Oreal, saying she didn't want her name near another brand. And the guys who founded parent nightmare Snapchat turned down a $3 billion (yes, with a 'B') buyout offer. I guess traction isn't what it used to be. Know who has plenty of traction? Our messengers, that's who.

Big, Open Secret

We go on a lot about our love of cycling, and the glory days of careening through the city streets on two wheels, yada, yada, yada. Let’s not forget, however, that we also do plenty of vehicle deliveries in everything from vans to lift-gate trucks. Call our trucking department and see what they can move for you.

Snoopless Service

If information is the new currency, then the NSA is swimming in it. Tapping into all the world’s data and communications, they’ve even gone so far as to build a truly mammoth data collection center able to hold exabytes (or more) of data collected from cyber snooping. How to send data privately? Via one of our messengers, of course. We’re the last bastion of secure data transfer, and we promise not to look.

Breaking Away Bad

Breaking Bad has ended, drawing to a close the tale of an American meth king. This begs the question, what's Bryan Cranston going to do next? Hey, Bryan, we've got openings, and plenty of deliveries to do! Hop to it!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked for the derivation of the name, “Ichabod.” Answer: Ichabod comes from the Book of Samuel, the name being a reference to the capture of the Ark by the Philistines.

T-Shirt Question

“Breaking Bad” has ended, but meth remains a huge problem in the United States and elsewhere. It does have a legal use, however. For what two diagnoses is methamphetamine legally prescribed? The first one to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.