Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 5 May 2007

Mom Rules

May 13th is Mother’s Day, and we know you have something big you want to send her. You know that we’re here, ready and able to deliver, and that we’re even open on Sundays from noon to 5pm.

Memorial Day

On Monday the 28th, Breakaway Courier will be closed in observance of Memorial Day. Our thoughts and gratitude to all vets past and present.

Revolution Delivery

Late in April, Breakaway took a call from a P.R. firm that had an item going to the Karl Marx Advisory. On the phone operator’s  very next call, the customer said they had a package picking up from, “The Means of Production.” Sounds like it was a (ahem) Red letter day.

Rube’d Be Proud

Here at Breakaway, we’re not afraid of technical advances. In 2005, we purchased a machine that automatically stuffs and seals envelopes in high volume, which we have affectionately dubbed the Uniblab (see the Jetsons, circa 1962). Recently, the Uniblab needed servicing, so we called Rosie the Robot maid. Otherwise, we’d have had to stuff envelopes by hand. That would be akin to going back to dial-up after experiencing broadband. Painful!

Resumes Received

Where do you go when you’re between jobs? Breakaway, of course. Everyone knows being a messenger is the perfect between-jobs job. We’ve received resumes so far from Alberto Gonzalez, Don Imus, Alec Baldwin, and Paul Wolfowitz. They’re ready to go and should start in September. Alberto even has the perfect messenger moniker: Gonzo.

Live to Ride

Messengers, by definition, ride for a living, but for a lot of them, it’s much more than just a job. This Memorial Day weekend, the messenger elite will compete for glory in the tenth annual North American Cycle Courier Championships, which will be held in San Francisco. Speed, navigating, and creative package handling will all be tested. See? We like to have fun also.

Big Payload

Z.H. was pretty keen to work here, so he faxed his resume over detailing his work experience as a trucker. At the very bottom of the resume he notes, and this is true, “I have a 14 inch truck.” At least parking will be a snap.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked when the first concrete mention of the game cricket appeared. We had no idea how much passion this would stir up, and we’re still writing this from an undisclosed location. The answer: 1597, in a court document. The game was written krickett.

Trivia Question

Who said, “Life is too short for a man to hold bitterness in his heart?” The first person to contact Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.