Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 4 April 2010

Ides of April  

It’s April, and we all know that means that the IRS is calling. Of course with all the things that we do in our lives, most of us leave it to the last minute. If you’re one of these people, worry not.  Since most forms are sent electronically these days, we will happily deliver your favorite libations to either celebrate(read: refund) or comiserate(you owe, so off to work you go)

Sumo Basho   

And now for something completely different. The Osaka Spring Grand Sumo competition has ended with  Yokozuna (Grand Champion) Hakuho winning with a clean 15-0 record. He did have some strong competition from Sekiwaki-ranked Baruto, who finished 14-1. Funny thing: Neither of them are Japanese; Hakuho is Mongolian and Baruto is from Estonia, respectively. The basho is tons of fun. Given the wrestlers body-types, we mean that literally!

Earth Day

Where would we be without mother? No, not your mom; Mother Earth! Well, now you can celebrate all that she’s done for you on April 22^nd, which is Earth Day. Not just any Earth Day, mind you, but the 40^th anniversary of the annual call to conserve. Check out www.earthday.org to see how you can help make an ecological difference.

Brooklyn by Bicycle

In honor of Earth Day, it is worth noting that we are the only NYC courier service that has extended its bicycle delivery footprint beyond Manhattan. We now do small package deliveries, to Brooklyn and Queens via bicycle. For details, please visit our web page on this:

breakawaycourier.com/brooklyn-queens-service/

Sync This

Hey 8:30 AM callers, we have noted: You  all sound sleepy, groggy, grumpy, and not quite ready for work. But, on the plus side, at least you’re all in sync with each other. Worry not; our ever cheerful messengers are on top of all your stuff, and can even bring you that critical first cup of joe. Now, get with it!

Web Site Updated

Our Web site has been updated. You can now check out our growing video library of the streets of New York. Many people are proud of their workspace, and we’re no different. We wanted to share a day at the office with you guys. You all now have yet another reason to goof off on the web rather than do your jobs. You’re welcome.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked when the first electric cars traversed the streets of New York City. Answer: 1897, when electric taxis were built for the city by the Electric Carriage and Wagon Company of Philly.

T-Shirt Question

In honor of the Osaka Spring sumo tournament, who was the first American born sumo wrestler to break into the top tier makuuchi division of Japanese sumo? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 3 March 2010

Luck o’ the Irish

This March, Saint Patrick’s Day falls on the 17^th, a Wednesday. This, of course, means a parade! We love a parade, but be cognizant that this also snarls traffic. Please, plan ahead and try to get your orders in early. Then sit back and watch our messengers deliver faster than a leprechaun hiding his lucky charms.

Housing Your Wares

As some of our customers know, we have convenient warehouse space at Breakaway HQ that is perfect for items that turn over quickly. Store it here, send it from here. We store a variety of goods, especially Frequently Ordered Consumables, or FOCs. We are especially adept at storing, picking and moving our FOC pretty rapidly. Give us a call and let us store and ship it for you.

Spring Into Action

It may still be cold around this time, but March 20^th marks the vernal equinox, and therefore the first day of spring. Need supplies for the spring cleaning? No problem; we’ll deliver them for you. Need help with  the spring cleaning? No problem; if you call for a messenger-by-the-hour, he will arrive and help you Swiffer the joint.

Be-LEAF

One of our couriers saw it advertised on a billboard on Tenth Avenue. It’s coming, and we’re waiting for it. In December, Nissan will start selling its new eco-car, the LEAF; a totally electric, no tail-emissions production model family car. It’s reputed to have a top speed of 90 mph, and has 100% torque, to titillate all you gear heads out there. We’ll be interested to see how it performs, and if it’s practical.

Late Start 

Passover starts at the end of this month starting on March 30^th. So, don’t let the early date lull you into complacency. If you get caught without some matzah, call Breakaway. We can have it delivered just in time for Seder.

Info Overload

Former Breakaway messenger and dispatcher, turned acupuncturist, M510 braved the cold and snow the last weekend in February to attend the Integrative Healthcare Symposium. He attended lectures about the dangers posed by rampant EMF, eating cinnabuns, and modern life’s frankenfoods. Last we heard, he said he was moving to a cabin in the wilds of Montana. Best of luck, fella!

Stump the Band

Last month we asked to what status the planet Pluto was demoted. Answer: Pluto was demoted from “planet” to “dwarf planet” and/or “Kuiper Belt Object.” The demotion was prompted by the governing astronomical body’s adopting new guidelines as to what a “planet” really is.

T-Shirt Question

When did the first electric car traverse the streets of New York City, and who made it? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 2 February 2010

For Love Or Money  

It’s February, and soon Hallmark stores everywhere will be reminding us that it’s time to get that special someone a lovely gift, or you’re doomed to a fate worse than watching the Cheaters marathon. Remember, Breakaway can deliver any large gift you purchase and can deliver it anywhere in the tri-state area. Please, don’t smooch the messenger.

ACH-OOO!

Breakaway has always been set up for this, but it’s not been widely noted: We do accept payment via ACH (Automated Clearing House). If you’re company has been cleared to process payments via ACH, you can pay your balance with us that way. We still accept checks, credit card, and cowry shells.

Grunt Work

Office Manager Andy, as many of you may know, is the fastest office manager on two wheels. His daily workouts are legend. So is his grunting while he’s on the rollers grinding out those virtual miles. Now, his exercise acoustics have been deciphered. One long grunt means, “Answer the phones!” Two short grunts punctuated by a wheeze; “Ten more minutes!” We’re compiling a dictionary, which we’re sure will be on Kindles everywhere.

Cheese It!

A crime so shocking, so grand in scale has occurred at Breakaway HQ, that we almost dare not put it in type. Someone has absconded with someone else’s cheddar cheese that was in the fridge. Amazingly, the cheese-whiz sampled it the day before deciding to devour the rest. Normally, the victim wouldn’t give edam (pun intended) and would share, but this leaves a burrito bare. We’re on the lookout for a mousy character with long whiskers.

Milk From Who?

We love science, and we couldn’t help but notice that the 2009 winner of the Ig Nobel prize in veterinary medicine went to Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson of Newcastle University, UK, for showing that cows that have names give more milk than cows that are nameless. Somewhere, there’s a cow thinking to itself, “I am not just a number!” We’re with you, Bossie!

Slightly Different

Research has shown that varying your routine has a stimulating effect on the brain’s dendrites. Accordingly, we at Breakaway have declared Feb 1^st to be Do Something Different Day. As our first act, we’re ordering all our messengers to ride their bikes backward. That, and to not pick up their paychecks on Friday.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked for the date that heralded New Year’s Day in England up until 1752. Answer: March 25^th, the Feast of the Annunciation, until the adoption of the Gregorian calendar.

T-Shirt Question

On February 18^th, 1930, Pluto, the ninth planet was discovered. Recently, however, Pluto was demoted. To what status was Pluto demoted and why? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Former Breakaway Courier messenger gets pro contract

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 1 January 2010

Happy New Year!   

Not only has another year come and gone, but so has another decade. It’s amazing how time flies when you’re out riding your bicycle! We hope all of our customers have a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year and enjoy the ‘10s.

Did You Forget Us?

During our Holiday Party, a few of our messengers noted how slow it is on Saturdays. We just want to gently remind all our customers that we are, indeed, open on Saturday AND Sunday. Our operators are standing by. Please give them something to do, something other than solitaire.

Winter Drinks

Newsweek.com recently posted an interesting article about the seven most calorific winter drinks, including Irish Coffee, apple cider, and, the most calorific, hot cocoa, which, if prepared the traditional way and not out of a packet, crams in 775 calories and 66 grams of fat. Unsurprisingly, Newsweek.com made it into the number one spot on the list of biggest winter killjoys. Celery stick not included. 

Landlord Clean-up

Our lease is up for renewal, so our landlord has finally gone about sprucing up the building. They’re changing the taxi-standard pine tree air freshener in the elevators once every three months now instead of every six.

Shopping Hangover

The saying goes that with certain unpleasant activities, you do it because it feels so good when it stops. For us, Holiday shopping can be like that, making the prospect of exchanging “unwanteds” all the more onerous. Not to worry, Breakaway can deliver all your returns. We don’t mind at all.

Same Day, Good Day

We’ve often noted in this page that Breakaway has vehicles, including lift-gate trucks, that can handle all sorts of loads. But, did you know that they also go out of state? We can deliver as far as Washington D.C. With offices in New York and Boston, we’ve basically got the Northeast Corridor covered.

Boot Call, Part Deux

After our last story regarding Windows 7, we got quite a few suggestions, so we’re including them in this month’s newsletter. Here are some more things to do while waiting for your computer:

• Buy more apps with your iPhone.
• Play scratch-off lottery ticket.
• Make a run to the deli.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked who accompanied Saint Nicklaus during his rounds in Germany on Christmas Eve. Answer: Knecht Ruprecht, a dwarf that accompanied Santa, and who’s job it was to beat naughty, unruly children with a switch. Harsh!

T-Shirt Question

Most countries in the modern world celebrate New Year’s Day on January 1^st, but this wasn’t always so. What date was considered New Year’s Day in England up until 1752? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 14 Issue No. 12 December 2009

Xmas Tidings  

Black Friday and Cyber Monday have both come and gone, and now you have a big pile of gifts blocking your foyer. No worries; Breakaway can help make that pile disappear! Whether you need a gift couriered or want to hire a messenger by-the-hour to help organize, we’ve got you covered better than a whole troop of elves. Without pixie dust, even!

Schedule Tidings  

This holiday season, both Christmas and New Year fall on a Friday. Please be aware that Breakaway will be closed on Friday the 25^th, and Friday, January 1^st.

Inverse Relationship

Gadgetry and technology are supposed to make our lives easier. However, there seems to be an inverse relationship between gadgets and stress. The more gadgets, the more stress! Case in point: the messenger who came into HQ the day and said, “I can’t wait to throw this &*&^!! radio off the Empire State Building!”

Customer Quote

“Yes, I’ll have the double-rush with the mint swirl. Make sure you send the cute messenger!” We kid you not.

 No Butts About It

It goes without saying that as bicyclists, we’re a little jealous about guarding our cardiovascular health. Consequently, no cigarettes. Which is why we’ve declared war on people who smoke in the Breakaway compound’s stairwell. The foul odor wafts its way into our offices, and lingers in the stairwell for a good long while. We’re trying to increase the sensitivity of the stairwell sprinklers while quadrupling its water output. Take that!

Neil Goes Pro

Breakaway messenger turned bike racer Neil Bezdek! It is with great pride that we announce that Neil recently signed with the Mountain Khakis Pro Racing team. We wish Neil all the best, and fervently hope that racing while wearing khaki doesn’t chafe too much.

Booting Call

Windows 7 has arrived (finally), yet we note that boot time is exactly the same as Windows XP, roughly about 1 minute. Things to do while waiting:

• zap coffee in the microwave
• tie cubicle mate's shoelaces together

Stump the Band

Last month we asked which president moved Thanksgiving from the last Thursday in November to its current location on the calendar. Answer: Franklin D. Roosevelt. He moved it up in the year to give a boost to holiday sales during the Depression.

T-Shirt Question

At Christmas, of course, we await the arrival of jolly Saint Nicholas. In Germany, however, Nick has a sidekick who tags along with him. What is this sidekick’s name, and what is his function? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 14 Issue No. 11 November 2009

In Gratitude  

It’s November, and you know what that means: travel! Thanksgiving is the most traveled holiday in the country, which makes shopping a hazard. Unless, that is, you call Breakaway and have us pick up your order and deliver it for you. We can deliver all manner of Thanksgiving items, large or small, to anywhere you need.

Marching Along              

Another thing November means, especially in New York, is the annual Macy’s Day Parade.  The darn thing gets bigger and bigger every year, with more new balloons. Let’s hope the riggers can keep the balloons under control.

“Virtual Me” Beta

The world is going virtual, and now, we want to help you take advantage of this with “Virtual Me,” a new service being tested by Breakaway. One of our couriers, equipped with a live broadcast camera, can “stand in” for you at any site, allowing you to see what’s going on away from your office. The project is now being beta tested, and we’re looking for customers who see a need. An architect, for instance, who needs to do a site visit but is strapped for time. For details, call 212-947-7777 x 8383.

Crawl Out the Vote

Election day for New York City is right around the corner, but a cursory sampling of the city’s populace shows that nearly everyone has voter fatigue, or simply can’t muster up the energy to care. We urge our fellow, fatigued citizens to do their civic duty.

Bronx Cheer

Best of luck to the Yankees as they look to secure their twenty-seventh World Series title. We have no doubt the Bombers will make short work of the Sillies…er…Phillies.

Our Glorious Burden

Thank you to everyone who responded to our query as to whether or not we should “go green” and put the newsletter online. The response was a resounding, “Nay!” We were not only surprised by how lopsided the vote was, but we were also taken aback at the vigor of many of the responses. We bow to public demand, and will continue to print the newsletter as is. Now, please put the pitchforks away.

Swine and Dine

While traveling around New York, we noticed a liquor store in Washington Heights that recently changed its name, from “Sanchez Liquor” to “S’ Wine and Spirits.” Unfortunately, the web address on the awning is swinespirit.com. Hmm…Swine Spirit? Well, that explains the hogs lined up outside the door.

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know what town the glen of Sleepy Hollow was located in. The answer: Tarrytown, New York.

T-Shirt Question

Abe Lincoln declared the last Thursday of November as Thanksgiving, and subsequent presidents followed suite, except one. Which president changed this, and why? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 14 Issue No. 10 October 2009

Brooklyn by Bicycle

Last month, we started it, and boy are we glad. By the looks of things, you are also! Breakaway’s bicycle courier service to Brooklyn has been a runaway success. Since instituting the service, delivery volume to the Brooklyn zones has doubled. Who says Brooklyn gets no respect?

All Hallows Eve           

It’s October, and soon lots of ghouls, goblins, and ghastlies will roam the streets of Gotham. Surprisingly, almost all of them will be no larger than a 10-year-old child. However, we hear you can keep them at bay with sugary confections. If you need such ghoul-bane delivered to you, our fearless messengers are ready.

Beatle Infestation

It’s been thirty-six years since the Beatles first came to the Big Apple, and there are still legions of die-hard fans out there. The proof? The prodigious amounts of Beatle music playing all over the streets, especially at Starbucks. Now, that’s longevity!

Root of All Ills

Not of the world or anything existential, but for us, the root of all headaches is bad information. Packages can only speak with a label. Please label all delivery items thoroughly. The source of many delays stem from lack of information on shipping labels. Building mailrooms are notorious for discarding mute packages.

Give Some Love

Halloween isn’t the only holiday in October. Friday, the 16^th turns out to be National Boss Day. So go ahead; give the big boss their coffee, with cream, and two lumps…of sugar?

Web Ordering

We’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that you needn’t resort to the phone when you want to place an order. You can do so online. It’s fast, easy, and you don’t have to log off Facebook to do it. Which brings us to our next story…

Online is Fine

Or is it? We at Breakaway are pondering whether or not to go green and cease paper publishing of our newsletter. Instead, all future content will be online for all to see. This is one area where we’re reaching out to you for feedback. How do you feel about not receiving this letter with your bill?

We want to know. Email us:

news@breakawaycourier.com

Stump the Band

Last month we asked what the average commute time to work was. The answer: 24.3 minutes per day are spent commuting, on average. Bonus answer: Each American spends, on average, about 100 hours per year commuting to and from work.

T-Shirt Question

Halloween is the perfect time for the story of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman. In what town was the glen of Sleepy Hollow actually located in? The first person to contact Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 14 Issue No. 9 September 2009

East River Corridor

Breakaway has deployed bicycle couriers to Brooklyn and Queens, greatly reducing the cost of hand deliveries to certain neighborhoods. For packages less than 15 lbs., you can now order a bicycle messenger to areas along the “East River Corridor” close to bridge access, such as DUMBO, Williamsburg, Park Slope, L.I.C and more. Local rates start at $10.50. Going into Manhattan can be as low as $13.10. Call Andrew Young, x8322, for more details.

Summer Bummer

The coming of September heralds the end of summer, and the bucolic days of lazing about. For your children, it’s back to school. Breakaway can handle all sorts of back-to-school supplies, from individual notebooks, to new computer equipment and desks. We will do your deliveries with such great care, that it deserves an A.

Labor Day 

Labor Day weekend sure does help ease the melancholy of a return to school, cool weather and shorter days. We know we plan on a barbeque. Don’t forget to call Breakaway to deliver any items you need to make your BBQ perfect. Heck, don’t forget to invite us, either!

Life’s Grand (Street)

Here’s a first. One of our messengers picked up a package from 107 Grand Street in Brooklyn, and delivered it to 107 Grand Street in Manhattan.

Overheard

On the corner of 5^th and 23^rd street, one tourist to another: “See! They cross whether it says ‘don’t walk’ or not. There’s something we just don’t understand about them.”

Just one of the thousands of titillating conversations heard by our messengers everyday.

Web Orders

More and more, the world is wired together. That’s good and bad. Good in the sense that you can place your orders for Breakaway online, track packages, and manage your address book. Bad in the sense that our web address won’t make you coffee, nor will you experience the pleasure of talking to one of our dulcet-toned CSR’s.

Ahead of the Curve

New York City just recently passed a bill requiring buildings to allow bicycle access for workers who commute by (of course) bicycle. The law also states that commercial parking garages have to provide one bike parking slot for every ten car spaces. No word in the bill regarding hovercraft or jetpacks.

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know what the lowest temperature ever recorded in Central Park was. The answer: 14.3 below zero, on February 10^th, 1934.

T-Shirt Question

Labor Day is a celebration of the working man (and woman!), but getting to work can be a job in itself. What is the average commute time to work? As a bonus, what is the average amount of commuting time each year? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 14 Issue No. 8 August 2009

Court Jester 

With the economic slowdown, and the bucolic summer days, some of our messengers have some extra down time. Breakaway is rolling out a new service: court jester. For a fee of $29.95/hour, our courier will don full fool costume, in the heraldic colors of your choosing. Jester paraphernalia (rattles and the like) is optional.

Sales Force     

Breakaway has a new salesman, William Stepp.  He is also known as Wild One or W1. Don’t be surprised if W1 pays a visit.

Speaking in Angles

With down time on our hands and tourists all over, we’ve done a study of people’s neck angles and what they communicate. An angle of zero (eyes straight ahead) is neutral. Tilted up 90 degrees: lost tourist. Tilted down 45 degrees: just laid off. Laterally flexed between 50 & 60 degrees: habitual cell phone user. Tilted down 45 degrees with twitchy thumbs: habitual texter. You can join the fun also; all you need is a protractor.

Congrats Contador

Breakaway congratulates Spaniard Alberto Contador on his Tour de France victory. Cool as a cucumber, faster than a speeding bullet, and able to climb like a billy goat, Contador convincingly beat the field for his second Tour title. Ole!

Courier-by-the-Hour

You’ve laid off half your staff but now you need someone to come in for just a few hours. You could hire someone part-time, or you could rent one of our couriers by the hour. For a fee, our courier will become Guy/Gal Friday, and perform any task within reason. Call our sales department for details.

Roadside Seating

So far, so good. It seems that Mayor Bloomberg’s plan to convert some stretches of city street into outdoor seating space is going smoothly. A recent jaunt to the outdoor space in front of Macy’s at Herald Square found almost all chairs in use, and a chess fair going on.

Wither Thy Bone!

A recent study showed that pro bicyclists, as well as extremely strong amateurs, are at risk for developing osteopenia, a lost of bone density. This is just a step below osteoporosis, or softening of the bone. The real culprit seems to be loss of calcium through sweat. So, eat your greens, drink your milk, and watch your electrolytes!

Stump the Band

Last month we asked what bicycle the protagonist of the movie “Breaking Away” rode and loved. Answer: Dave, the protagonist, rode a bicycle manufactured by Masi.

T-Shirt Question

Now that the summer heat and humidity are finally here, we thought we’d ask this: What was the lowest temperature ever recorded in Central Park? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.