Breakaway News Volume No. 16 Issue No. 3 March 2011

March Observances

As far as we can tell, this March is chock full of observances, religious and otherwise. Among them are: Purim, Ash Wednesday, and St. Patrick’s Day. On St. Patrick's Day please note that the parade down Fifth Ave. becomes a great barrier to cross for our couriers; not to mention wanton packs of teenagers cheerfully oblivious to the rhythms of commerce.

Mad! Mad I Say!

The tension is building. Partisans are meeting. A political revolution? No, it’s only March Madness coming. Like some seasonal fever that descends every year, March Madness infects our staff here at Breakaway HQ and results in endless arguments over who can shoot, dribble, coach, etc. Occasionally, during this time, we get some work done.

Le Package!

Breakaway leader RK has just come back from a trip to Paris, where he had a tête-à-tête with his French courier counterparts at Coursier. Last October, a French courier from Coursier, worked at Breakaway for a week and learned our best practices. RK visited Coursier and learned their best practices. It looks like a good business alliance, with a possible exchange program for our dispatchers and theirs. Sorry, we’re not taking any applications for dispatching now. Also, Coursier graciously declined our croissants from our local deli on 8th Ave.

Reality Bytes

It’s official; Breakaway’s stint on reality TV is slated to air in June on the Travel Channel. If you ever wanted to know how a messenger company operates but were too afraid to set foot in a messenger compound, now’s your chance. All you need to do is tune in to the Travel Channel. Check your local channel for times and listings. Popcorn is on you.

Weekend Work

In this economy people are working harder than ever and we’re no exception.  If you are burning the midnight oil and have to get that urgent package delivered on Saturday or Sunday, fear not, we are open on the weekends.  Our veteran weekend dispatcher Chris, aka Mr. C, awaits your call or web order.

Potholes a Go Go

One consequence of this brutal winter’s snow has been the proliferation of potholes. Formed more rapidly during times of low temperatures and picked open by plows, these urban booby traps have been responsible for many a pinch-flat by our couriers, not to mention a broken axle or two. Watch your step out there.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked why several countries banned the mailing of Valentine’s Day cards during the late 1800s. Answer: The cards were too racy and risqué. The U.S. Postal Service in Chicago rejected more than 25,000 cards during this period, saying they were not fit to be delivered via U.S. mail.

T-Shirt Question

Everyone associates the croissant with France, but what is its true origin? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 16 Issue No. 2 February 2011

Love Is In The Air  

Red hearts, and pink balloons are starting to appear in Hallmark stores around the city, and that means only one thing: Valentine’s Day is coming. Nothing says love better than a gift of chocolate; except a gift of chocolate delivered by Breakaway courier! We’re not called Cupid’s deputies for nothing. Call us.

Post Filming Blues

A strange type of malaise hangs over Breakaway HQ. It’s the letdown that comes after the film crew leaves. When the Travel Channel was here filming us, it was a real rush. Let us tell you, having a crew filming your every move and recording your every utterance is incredibly self-indulgent. Now, they’re gone, our egos have deflated, and we are back to being mere messengers, dispatchers, and, well, mortals. We’ll have to settle for the rush of delivering your packages on time.

Comfort Food

Recently, a Five Guys Burgers opened up near Breakaway HQ. On the one hand, this is great, because it’s convenient. On the other hand, this is terrible, because it’s convenient. We find ourselves going there too much! They even have free peanuts. You can walk in, grab a bag of peanuts, and walk out. How about them nuts?!

Missing Out

Breakaway always prides itself on riding our bicycles to work. However, we do miss some stuff doing it. For instance, we missed out on Pants Optional Day last month, when hundreds of straphangers dropped trouser last month and commuted in just their skivvies. Of course, as we commute by bicycle, trousers are always optional for us. Show some leg!

Breakaway News Volume No. 16 Issue No. 1 January 2011

Happy New Year!  

2010 is in the rearview mirror, and 2011 is here. We hope everyone out there a joyous and safe auld lang zyne. We are happy to continue to be your service of choice as we enter the second decade of the millennium. Hard to believe we’ve been at this for close to twenty-five years! Thanks everyone!

Not Crazy; Eccentric

Often times, people think of messengers as grimy, poorly educated, down-and-outers who got a job riding their bicycles for lack of other skills. Nothing could be further from the truth. Breakaway is proud to have been the temporary employer of many people who’ve gone on to other things: art restoration, acupuncture, law school, book writing, Outward Bound, etc. That guy who delivers your next rush delivery could be the next Dr. Salk. Hey, we all have to start somewhere!

Do It Yourself

Cargo-bicycle messenger C.T. did something that a great many people have done; he dropped his keys down a sidewalk ventilation grate. Unlike most people, however, he did something about it. He lifted two 85 lbs grates, and jumped down the eight feet to retrieve his keys! Then, he lifted himself back up, replaced the grates, and was on his way in under 15 minutes. Now that’s what we call resourceful!

Opera on Wheels

Aside from being a hands-on, take charge kinda guy, C.T. is also an accomplished opera singer. He practices his arias and solos everyday while he’s out there on his cargo bike. If you ask him nicely, maybe he’ll perform a little snippet for you when he delivers.

Reality Bites

Ever really wonder what it’s like out there on the mean streets, pedaling for a paycheck? Now you can find out! The reality series (_______) is being filmed and is on the air, so now you can see what it means to pedal ones bicycle through the rain, snow, and pedestrians. Get the popcorn ready.

Get Organized

Well, you’ve survived the holidays, and are enjoying post New Year’s bliss. Only problem now is that you have a ton of stuff to store, and/or get rid of. No problem; call us to help out! Rent a messenger for the day to help sort, call our logistics center to help you store stuff, and use our truckers to help move the big ticket items. 

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 12 December 2010

Santa’s Li’l Helpers  

Ohhh…the weather outside is frightful! So, it’s really soooo delightful…to let Breakaway handle all of the heavy lifting this holiday season! Okay, okay, so the weather really isn’t all that frightful right now, but hey, who wants to do heavy lifting? If you need that roast ham, last minute toy, and or home-workout gym delivered, we’ve got you covered better than Rudolph has Santa’s way lit up.

Very Pavlovian

While trying to teleconference recently, we came across an interesting phenomena. Using the telephone headset a la Suzie the Time Life operator, made us lose our train of thought. We’re used to cradling the phone between our head and shoulder while typing up job orders! Although easier on the neck, the headsets made us feel like something was missing, and that shortwired our thinking a bit. Verrryyy interesting!

Log This!

According to Wikipedia, logistics is: “…the management of the flow of the goods, information, and other resources in a repair cycle between the point of origin and the point of consumption in order to meet the requirements of customers.” Hey, we thought we were just handling stuff! If you’d like us to handle your stuff, and maximize your repair cycles and points of maximum consumption, give us a call. You’ll be glad you did.

Smart Alec Phone

Modern cell phones may have become smart, but they still lack common sense. Our phone alerted us to a text message, then said it could not retrieve content, try again later. Might as well have said, “Yeah, I received your message, but I’m not going to give it to you, so there!” Silly  phone…

Dose of Reality

Now, for the first time ever, on a major cable network, reaching 100 million homes, it’s Breakaway Reality TV! For the next six weeks, a couple of Hollywood dudes are here filming us, because they thought we’d make, “Interesting” reality TV. Well, duh! We’re looking for customers intrepid enough to allow them to film our couriers making pick-ups and drop-offs at your premises. If you think that’s you, please call either Robert Kotch or Andrew Young. Be sure to present your better side. It’s your left.

Today's Reality Lyric

“Up on Housing Project Hill/It’s either fortune or fame/You must pick up one or the other/Though neither of them are to be what they claim…”

 Stump the Band

Last month we asked what infamous person ran in, and won, the Boston and New York marathons, only to be disqualified from both? Answer: Rosie Ruiz

 T-Shirt Question

Who is considered to be the last religious martyr in United States history and why? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 11 November 2010

Whoops!  

Sharp eyed readers might have noticed that last month, we printed the answer to the trivia question right under the trivia question. Well, these things happen. Really, we just wanted to see if you were awake and on the ball. Yeah, that’s it, yeah…

Oven Stuffer   

November is here, and that means it’s that time of year when we commence stuffing ourselves silly (starting with Halloween’s candy). We want to wish all our customers a happy, safe, and pants-tightening holiday. Remember, if you have a last-minute emergency need for an extra can of cranberry sauce, we’ve got you smothered…er…covered.

Transparency

Fee, fi, faux world. It’s hard to believe anything these days, whether that be a politician or even your own eyes. Photoshop has become as much a verb as a noun, and CGI makes even film suspicious. Meanwhile, newspeak has crept into our national dialog, while propagandists pose as actual journalists. The only thing left to believe is that the Breakaway courier at your door, is actually taking your package, and will really get it there. We are real.

Overheard

Twenty-something #1: “I loved him, and we’re still friends, but something was missing, and we were moving in different directions.”

Twenty-something #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. Adam and I are still friends, but something was missing.”

Yet another true conversation heard by our messengers on the street every day.

Stow It, Willya?

It’s getting more popular, and we couldn’t be more proud. We’re talking about our warehousing and logistics service. We’ll take in your pallets, store your deliverables, and distribute them around the city by messenger, vehicle, and transporter beam. The last one still has kinks, though, so for now, stick with the first two options.

Phony Phone System

We doubt anyone noticed (how would one?) but we have a new phone system in place, that’s allowed us more flexibility than ever before. We can now take calls virtually from anywhere. For instance, we took all of last week’s calls while at the craps table in St. Tropez. So, call us for a run already, so we can justify this new-fangled system!

Stump the Band

Last month we wanted to know what the black and orange colors of Halloween signified. Obviously, we knew what they signified because we gave you the answer! As a result, we’ve fired W as our intern editor, and are sending him back to Texas.

T-Shirt Question

What infamous person ran in, and won, the Boston and New York marathons, only to be disqualified from both? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 10 October 2010

Halloween  

Here’s hoping all of our customers, and their children, have a spooky and ghoulish Halloween this year. Our army of zombie messengers will deliver your dead flowers in as ghastly a manner possible, and can even bring you that extra gigantic box of candy for all the little creepies that will trick-or-treat your neighborhood. Boo!

The New Porsche  

Once again, Breakaway has been waaaaayyyy ahead of the trend. Need evidence? The New York Post reported recently that guys in their early forties aren’t dating supermodels and buying Porsches anymore. They’re buying expensive racing bikes to impress their wives. In many cases, the racing rigs have saved both marriages and waistlines. Heck, we could’ve told them that.

Fitness Equation

Alarmingly, the divide in this country between those who are fit and those who aren’t is widening precipitously. This can be expressed with the following equation:

Ph+it²/Ph+at² x BiKE/PedRev = (PH)it * (PH)at = it/at

                                  Spin * 4

(it/at)² = ia (intelligence artificial).

See? These things are understood better using quadratic equations.

Logical Logistics

It is a big thing and we rock at it. We mean, of course, logistics. We can store skids-worth of your materials on site, and help to distribute them around the city when the time comes, either via lift-gate or bicycle messenger, saving you time, space, and money. Logically, it makes the most business and money sense. Our team of Vulcans in logistics are the best. Klingons need not apply.

Leaf Peeping

We love fall. The air turns crisp, the soggy, dog-day heat is gone, and best of all, the leaves catch fire. There’s nothing better than riding along (insert city appropriate path here) and enjoying the leaves turning color.

Streets to Suites

There was a time when being a bicycle messenger was the Job of Last Resort. You were down and out, you owed your buddies money, whatever, you had two choices: crime or messenger. Not so anymore. People move here from plush backgrounds in other states specifically to ride for Breakaway as a messenger. We’ve arrived, as they say. Now call us for a delivery, and help us give these kids something to do!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what sparked the most violent riots on the White House grounds in U.S. history? Answer: President John Tyler vetoes the creation of the Second Bank of the United States, sparking Whig riots.

 T-Shirt Question

 What is the significance of the colors orange and black for Halloween? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt. (Orange = harvest, black = death)

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 9 September 2010

Back To School  

Times are tough, no doubt about it. Used to be, all you needed to bring to school were a notebook, and an apple for the teacher. Now, all you need is an "Apple notebook", and a whole slew of cleaning supplies so your child won’t bring home germs. However many supplies you need for your child, Breakaway can deliver them either by bicycle or lift-gate truck. How do you like them apples?! Oh, and if you need the lift-gate, try the next PTA meeting.

Fashion Wink 

September is here, and that means Fashion Week. Many of the biggest designer names unveil their spring collection in the early fall. This year marks a break with tradition, as Fashion Week will be moving from its traditional home at Bryant Park for Damrosch Park at Lincoln Center. Need a piece of fashion in a hurry? Our messenger will deliver it. Tastefully accoutered, with shaved legs, mauve bike shorts and polished body modifications, of course.

What’s In a Name?

We’ve had it. We’re done, through, and so over it! We’re talking about the new standard of addressing people by their first initial, and then a supercilious shortening of their family name. We’ve gone from admiring Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Wolf Mo for instance) to gossiping emptily about J Lo, LiLo, J Woww, A-Rod, K-Rod, and NimRod. We at Breakaway are taking a stand, right behind our leader RK, office manager AY and… uh, never mind.

The Big Scoop

It isn’t the most glamorous scoop, but one of our messengers was interviewed by Anderson Cooper recently, for a piece that will air on CNN (360?). Don’t know why they haven’t come sooner, as everyone knows Breakaway couriers are the most articulate and erudite, period.

City as Test Bed

Kudos to Breakaway mechanic and bicycle whisperer James Lao, who managed to fix our custom-built cargo bike frames with steel plate, some aircraft quality epoxy, twine and some strategically placed bubblegum. In all seriousness, the manufacturer in Montana called us to express their gratitude that we tested them to failure, saying that it would provide valuable data. After all, what do Montanans know about pot-holes?

Blech! This is Coffee?!

We went to Italy recently for vacation, for our own little Eat, Pray, Love, although in our case, it was simply Eat. One thing stood out to our addicted palates: the coffee was phenomenal! The coffee at Starbucks tasted burnt by comparison. So much so, that we swore Charbucks off. That lasted for all of about a week. We’re back on the sauce already.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked which Boston-born astronaut was the last of the Apollo era astronauts on active flight duty to retire. Answer: Story Musgrave.

T-Shirt Question

What sparked the most violent riots on the White House grounds in U.S. history? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt. 

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 7 July 2010

Happy Fourth  

Oh well, we thought the U.S.A. would get through the round of sixteen in the World Cup. Nonetheless this Fourth of July portends to be particularly patriotic. Have you got a Fourth of July/World Cup barbecue coming up? Heck, invite us! Or at least, don’t forget to use our services if you need extra barbecue sauce and fixings. Just remember: don’t put the Roman candles on the Barbie.

High Heel Hijinks  

Here’s an interesting case: We’ve been riding around, minding our own business and we’ve noticed high heel shoes strewn around the city. One shoe on the bicycle path, a pair on the GWB, and another in an elevator. Speculation runs rampant, but we’re thinking Carrie is in town and learning how to bicycle.

Don’t Forget…

…that we have trucks, and we do lots of trucking. Strangely, even though we’ve been doing trucking for 22 years, many of our devoted customers still think of us as only a bicycle messenger company. Please call us and avail yourself of our resources. From one ounce to 100,000 pounds, we can move it. 

And…

…we do storage, warehousing, logistics and fullfillment. Need 1000 bags stuffed for a trade show? We’ll do it and deliver the bags to the venue. Need five pallets of promotional items stored for three months? We have a warehouse in midtown Manhattan.  Need your cat shipped to Santa Monica, California? We’ve done it and moved other living creatures. Give us a call on our sales line for details.

Purchase the Dragon

As many people know, haggling is one of the key activities when shopping in Chinatown. So, we were feeling pretty good when we shopped for a paper dragon, and haggled them down from $20 to $15. Imagine our chagrin when we rounded the corner, and saw another store offering the same paper dragon for a mere $5.95!  Well, what do we know? We deliver the items, instead of purchasing them. Next stop for us: 3-card monty on Times Square at midnight.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked what a Hero engine was. Answer: It’s a steam-powered engine which spins when heated. The device is also sometimes called an aeolipile, and was invented by Hero of Alexandria, hence the name Hero engine.

T-Shirt Question

Soccer (or football for everyone else) is extremely demanding, but at least one player was able to moonlight. Who is the only sportsman to have competed in World Cup football, as well as in a world cup of another sport? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 6 June 2010

Father’s Day

For all those times Dad helped you with your homework, threw a football (or baseball, or basketball) with you, or came to see your school play or ballet recital, we remind you that Father’s Day is June 20^th this year. Breakaway stands ready to rush that gift to him, whether it’s a tie (bike courier) or new couch (lift-gate truck).

Green, Not Mean

Something extraordinary has happened to the sidewalks outside the Breakaway compound: the city has planted trees! Rather than shades of grey, we now have some lovely, green oxygenators to look at out there. Finally, something other than people, rodents, and roaches living on this block!

Getting Bigger

No, not the national deficit; our warehouse! We’ve expanded our warehousing capabilities, so now we have even more space with which to store your stuff. Big or small, flat or polygonal, we’ve got a shelf space that has your name on it.

Summer Season

Summer is almost here, and that means trips out to the Hamptons, or the beach, or to somewhere. For those times when you’ve got summer equipment that needs moving somewhere, we have the lift-gate trucks that can get them there. So, if your grill needs to get there, or your kayak needs a lift to the water’s edge, don’t forget to give us a call.

Elevator Talk

First Gentleman: “It’s still being evaluated.”

Second Gentleman: “I gave them everything they needed! What more can I do?!”

Yet another titillating conversation heard everyday by our messengers.

Hole in One

Is this lucky or unlucky? Our courier, MG, was on a date Friday night. As they cycle along 6^th street, he swerves to avoid a car door. Unfortunately, there’s oil on the road. His bike slides out. He does an urban version of slip-n-slide along the street, straight into a open manhole, where he is greeted by scalding steam. Miraculously MG survived to tell the story. Lucky to be alive, MG is currently in hospital. Get well soon, MG!

Summer Stock

Congratulations to Breakaway's VP of Sales and resident thespian Terrance McCrossan. M583 is co-starring in the new production of Equus by Peter Shaffer starring Alec Baldwin. The run is from June 8th through July 3rd at Guild Hall, East Hampton. Tickets are available at guildhall.org. Breakaway a leg Terrance!

Stump the Band

Last month we asked you in what hospital was JFK born. Answer, he was born at home:  83 Beals St, Brookline, Massachusetts.

T-Shirt Question

What is a Hero engine, and who invented it? The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 15 Issue No. 5 May 2010

Memorial Day

This year, Memorial Day will be on Monday, May 31, 2010. Breakaway will be closed in honor of our brave soldiers who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.  Let’s not forget it’s also the beginning of the summer season. We are ready to take your entire summer wardrobe and other accoutrements to all beaches and summer homes within a 200-mile radius of Boston and New York.  Call us for details.

Rice on Chicken?

That is correct. We knew the sign wasn’t quite right but that’s typical for our “hood” Isn’t it chicken on rice? Since when does the rice go on top of the chicken? Only on 8^th Ave. between 34^th and 42^nd where we saw the preposterous sidewalk sign. We work in an area known for its “unique” cuisine. It’s all under $10.00 including the morning sopa with a little 8^th Ave grit, not grits.

Storage on Demand

We were happy to accommodate a customer’s need to store 75 cartons for two weeks. Their client, from Texas, thought it would be just dandy to ship 75 cartons to a one-bedroom apartment. Come on Tex,  we’re not living on three acres up here. Enter Breakaway to the rescue! Tex sent the cartons straight to our midtown warehouse. We stored the boxes for an upcoming trade show. Our customer was thoroughly grateful to have a BIG problem solved. So was Buster the Cat.

CJ’s

We have started a new genre of media jockey. Not disc jockey or video jockey but Cycling Jockey. Visit our web site with a growing catalog of cityscapes by bicycle by our own in-house “CJ’s: All CJ’s have their own style and peculiarities.

Flowers for Mom

Children of all ages, operators are standing by for your last minute orders for your Mother. Mother’s Day is right around the corner on Sunday May 9^th. If not flowers, we can deliver whatever you wish. We are open on Saturday and Sunday. See our hours below.

Standing Orders

Tired of calling everyday with the same delivery order? Or worse yet, forgetting to call? We have a solution. If you have a regular delivery that happens daily, weekly, bi-weekly or monthly, we can put it into our queue of scheduled pickups. Your order will automatically pop up on our dispatch screen at the appropriate time and the courier will appear like magic. Call us to set it up.

Stump the Band

Last month we asked:  Who was the first American born sumo wrestler to break into the top tier makuuchi division of Japanese sumo? Answer: Henry Armstrong Miller, who wrestled as a Japanese rikishi under the name of Sentoryu in July of 1988.

T-Shirt Question

President John F. Kennedy was born in May. What is the name of the hospital in which he was born?  The first person to call Gil Ortiz with the correct answer will win one of our coveted Breakaway T-Shirts. (supplies recently replenished)