Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 10 October 2007

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Devil Of A Time

Breakaway wishes all of our customers a happy, healthy, and frightening Halloween. For All Hallows Eve, we are hiring a whole bunch of imps, goblins, and other assorted mischief makers to make your deliveries. They’ll still be riding bikes, however, as our order for the 2008 model Nimbus Flying Brooms is on backorder.

Logically Loaded

One of our heavy weight customers had a big logistics problem. Naturally, they turned to Breakaway. We smoothed the distribution scheme for them by receiving the product of 75 vendors and consolidating it all into one delivery, with much of the work taking place here at the Breakaway compound. The items were packed into bags, and delivered in one shot to their destination, which made our customer’s life very easy, and them very grateful.

Bicycle Detour

What a quirk of fate. The landlord of the Breakaway office building has decided that bicycles don’t belong in the passenger elevators: years after we’ve all been going up and down with ours. As it happens; the freight guy is faster. Now, we have class A security for our class C lobby. That’s life in the big city!

VIP in NYC = OMG!

The last week of September many important personages, including President Bush and Iranian President Ahmadinejad, were in New York to address the U.N. General Assembly. Of course, that meant street closures, gridlock, and imaginative headlines from the city’s tabloids. Even so, our couriers and truckers kept calm heads as they navigated midtown and were still able to deliver, impressing even the VIPs.

Web Tip

Triple check the service type and vehicle selection to make sure they match, and are appropriate for the job. For example: Lift-gate truck service does not get a bike nor car. Also be sure to check how many men your truck job needs, one or two.

Mets to Mutts

The Mets have accomplished a dubious feat: blowing perhaps the biggest lead in the history of baseball: seven games up with 17 games left. Historical note: the last big lead to be blown was by the ’64 Phillies, the very team that tied the Mets this year as their lead evaporated. We’ll just have to wait till next year.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what seven things are needed to make an outside pick-up. Only one intrepid customer called to try and answer. The seven items are: Company; address; floor and/or room number; phone number; contact name; item description and number; and time it’s ready. Or, Who, What, When, Where, but no Why.

Trivia Question

How many chicks has New York’s most famous red-tail hawk, Pale Male, sired? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 9 September 2007

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Package of Azkaban

In a special investigative report, Breakaway exposes a hidden way that our messengers are slowed down: missing information! This is information that is critical to a messenger picking up from a location outside the customer’s address but, either through wearing a cloak of invisibility, and/or having been absconded with by Lord Valdemort, never makes it onto the order. The messenger and dispatcher then waste valuable time trying to undo the spell. But you can help us overcome Valdemort’s evil by working with our phone operators to create a spell of finding, merely by including all the information on the call. That way, packages won’t languish in Azkaban.

Shirts

We just ordered a whole new bunch of t-shirts to supply our trivia winners with. We were starting to run dry! Colors are Grey, Green, Purple and Navy. Be sure to specify which you want if you do win.

Commute

Zarry is our newest office member to commute to the Breakaway compound by bicycle. Big deal, you say? Well, it is a big deal, since the big man is biking in from Yonkers, a 17.5 mile trip one way. That’s a daily 35-mile commute. Oh, and did we mention that the man was 290 lbs? As of this writing, he’s now down to 260.

Bedtime for Gonzo

A couple months back, we opined that the U.S. Attorney General would be a messenger with us by September. With the news of his recent resignation, we’re holding a place here for him. We even have a bell with his name on it. He should do fine; it’s not like riding for us is torture, you know.

Big Apple Century

It’s that time of year again. What time is that you say? Why, time for the NYC Century Ride, of course! Sponsored by Transportation Alternatives, the ride covers 100 miles of New York City, excluding Staten Island (shorter loops are provided also). The ride starts Sunday, September ninth.

Web Tip

Keeping your online address book well organized can help save you time when typing an order in the New Order page. That way you can use a drop down menu to input destinations or outside pickup addresses. Not set up for Web orders? Call Rob Martinez for online access.

Stump the Band

Last month, we wanted to know what chemical structure was named after a prominent American thinker. The answer: Fullerene, aka Buckyballs, after Buckminster Fuller. Also called C-60, their structure resembles a geodesic dome, a structure that Fuller pioneered as an architect.

Trivia Question

What are the seven things a messenger needs to make a pick-up from outside your office? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 8 August 2007

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We’re on Fire!

One of our intrepid messengers was making a delivery to 1441 Broadway. When he got there, he found the entire building had been evacuated for a fire drill, and there was no way to get in! Thinking quickly, he yelled out the name of the company at the top of his lungs. A woman in the crowd responded, “Oh, I work for them,” and signed for the package. Yet another true story of our unstoppable messengers.

 

Web Tip

Whoever is designated “Administrator” for the Breakaway order-entry web site has the ability to add and delete users, change passwords, and more. When setting up your online Breakaway account, consider whom you would like to make administrator.

Editorial Fame

A certain media magnate heard of our Newsletter through the grapevine and, after seeing a copy, offered to put us in charge of the Wall Street Journal. We decided that we couldn’t accept. Otherwise, we’d have to mention Paris Hilton in the Newsletter. Whoops! We just did!

Elevator Talk

Husband:  I put the number on the refrigerator.

Did you get it?

Wife: That bit of paper? I threw it out.

Husband: Why'd you throw it out? You needed that number!

Wife: How was I supposed know I needed it?

Husband: Because I put it on the refrigerator!

 

Shane’s the Name

Where will a life as a Breakaway courier leave you? Many have come to us and passed back into the anonymity from whence they came, but Shane did not. He rode for us, penned an article about his wild life in Amsterdam for the Voice, and can now be seen on ESPN as a top-ranked poker player called, “the Shane-iac.”

Truckin’ On

One of our clients was so impressed by our trucking services that she recommended us to a colleague at a retail chain. Now, we’re delivering to their stores in NYC and the Tri-State area. What can our truck department do for you?

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked for the derivation of the term, “southpaw.” According to legend, baseball diamonds were arranged with homeplate due east, to keep the sun out of a pitcher’s eyes in the afternoon sun. If the pitcher was left-handed, his left hand would be facing south.

Trivia Question

What carbon structure takes its name from an eminent American thinker, and why? The first person to call with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt or coffee mug.

 

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 7 July 2007

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Fourth of July

To all our customers, a happy Fourth of July! We hope you’re all going to kick back, relax, throw some burgers on the barbeque while sipping a cold one, and watch some fireworks. We know we’re going to, so don’t call us to for work on the Fourth (a Wednesday) because we’ll be closed.

Truck? Bike? Both!

It’s tricky; you have a large package, and you think a cyclist can take it, but you’re not sure. Well, we’ve got the perfect solution: the cargo bike! We have a new messenger who pilots a bike that can carry 700 pounds of cargo. So, when you’re not sure, we are.

Traffic de-Congestion

We’re excited! We’re titillated! We’re all agog at Mayor Mike’s Congestion Pricing proposal, and we’re thrilled that Gov. Spitzer and the U.S. transportation secretary are both behind it. If the plan gets the nod from Albany, NYC could stand to get $500 million from the Fed for it. And we’ll cruise through jamless streets. Go Mike go!

Bike Terminology

Poser Pass: Gunning it really hard to catch another cyclist (usually a stranger) then easing up when passing in order to look like it was easy.

Panther-ish Grace

Breakaway Courier’s truck department is partnering with Panther Expedited Services to contract their truck work. Still in its infancy, this deal should allow us to expand our vehicular reach. It’s not a tiger in the tank, but it is a panther in, well, some part of the vehicle.

Stump the Band

Last month, we wanted to know who “Little Chocolate” was. The answer: Boxer George Dixon. The first black champion of any sport in America, he took the championship as a bantamweight in 1888. Also a champion featherweight, he’s buried in Boston, Mass.

Trivia Question

Where is the origin of the term, “southpaw?” The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 5 May 2007

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Mom Rules

May 13th is Mother’s Day, and we know you have something big you want to send her. You know that we’re here, ready and able to deliver, and that we’re even open on Sundays from noon to 5pm.

Memorial Day

On Monday the 28th, Breakaway Courier will be closed in observance of Memorial Day. Our thoughts and gratitude to all vets past and present.

Revolution Delivery

Late in April, Breakaway took a call from a P.R. firm that had an item going to the Karl Marx Advisory. On the phone operator’s  very next call, the customer said they had a package picking up from, “The Means of Production.” Sounds like it was a (ahem) Red letter day.

Rube’d Be Proud

Here at Breakaway, we’re not afraid of technical advances. In 2005, we purchased a machine that automatically stuffs and seals envelopes in high volume, which we have affectionately dubbed the Uniblab (see the Jetsons, circa 1962). Recently, the Uniblab needed servicing, so we called Rosie the Robot maid. Otherwise, we’d have had to stuff envelopes by hand. That would be akin to going back to dial-up after experiencing broadband. Painful!

Resumes Received

Where do you go when you’re between jobs? Breakaway, of course. Everyone knows being a messenger is the perfect between-jobs job. We’ve received resumes so far from Alberto Gonzalez, Don Imus, Alec Baldwin, and Paul Wolfowitz. They’re ready to go and should start in September. Alberto even has the perfect messenger moniker: Gonzo.

Live to Ride

Messengers, by definition, ride for a living, but for a lot of them, it’s much more than just a job. This Memorial Day weekend, the messenger elite will compete for glory in the tenth annual North American Cycle Courier Championships, which will be held in San Francisco. Speed, navigating, and creative package handling will all be tested. See? We like to have fun also.

Big Payload

Z.H. was pretty keen to work here, so he faxed his resume over detailing his work experience as a trucker. At the very bottom of the resume he notes, and this is true, “I have a 14 inch truck.” At least parking will be a snap.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked when the first concrete mention of the game cricket appeared. We had no idea how much passion this would stir up, and we’re still writing this from an undisclosed location. The answer: 1597, in a court document. The game was written krickett.

Trivia Question

Who said, “Life is too short for a man to hold bitterness in his heart?” The first person to contact Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 5 April 2007

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Gettin’ It Done!

Breakaway is open on Saturday’s, even on Saint Patty’s. This presented some major challenges to our staff. A867 had to make a pick-up from 620 5th Avenue going to 595 Madison; through the heart of the parade. Thinking fast, he parked on Madison, took his hand truck and went through the 53rd street subway underpass, crossing below the parade, making the pick-up. He then went back the same way, delivering said item. After displaying such perspicacity, he was awarded the leprechaun’s pot of gold and has retired to Dublin Beach.

Billing Options

It would be a boring life with only one flavor of ice cream. Similarly, we offer more than one invoicing cycle: weekly, semi-monthly, and monthly. Monthly billing is normally the default. For high volume, weekly might be best. You can always change your billing option by calling Maria Ortiz  at extension 8351 in accounts receivable.

A New Season

Last month marked the beginning of the new cycling season and everyone here at Breakaway is, well, indifferent really, except for a few of us. USA’s Discovery Channel Team has racked up wins at the Tour of California and Paris-Nice. This year is also Discovery’s last sponsoring the team. Also, we hear that this Sunday is the start of another sports season. Something to do with a bat and bases?

April Fool’s

April is the month for practical jokes, especially on work mates. Pull a fast one on someone recently? Did it nearly get you fired? Tell us about it! Best story gets an honorable (or, dishonorable) mention in the Newsletter. Contact Robert Martinez at rmartinez@breakawaycourier.com.

Tax Time

April 16th is the deadline for taxes this year. This is always a very busy time for Breakaway. Make sure that any tax items you want to deliver, are prepared well ahead of time, fully labeled, and will have a contact waiting to receive them. That will ensure prompt delivery, and will avoid having your tax items waiting in mailroom limbo.

Order and Track

Just a reminder that you can order a messenger online, and can track his progress that way also. Don’t be shy; go ahead and click that mouse!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what book is considered to be the first American novel. Quite a few people knew this one, proving that our customers don’t only read the sports section. The answer: The Power of Sympathy, written by William H. Brown in 1789 and published in Worcester, MA.

Trivia Question

Cricket has been in the news recently for all the wrong reasons. When was the first, definite mention of cricket written? The first person to contact Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt or coffee mug.

 

 

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 3 March 2007

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Erin Go Bragh!

It’s March, and that means another type of march: the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade! Along with Gaelic gaiety, this also means street shutdowns to allow for the parade and for marchers to occupy sidestreets. But, with some genuine, leprechaun issue four-leaf clovers, our messengers will still be able to fly through the marchers and deliver your packages. Not even green beer besotted revelers can slow us!

Spring Forward

Daylight Savings Time will, for the first time, begin in March. Normally, DST begins the first Sunday of April. This year, as a result of the U.S. Energy Policy Act of 2005, the country is going to try it early in an attempt to save energy resources. In any event, we’re going to lose an hour on March 11th (but, you’ll get it back in October), so mark your calendar

Celebrity Products

Breakaway HQ is undergoing a bit of a facelift and we noticed something interesting. Some famous people have products you would never  associate with them in the first place. The one that caught our eye is Kathy Ireland furniture. Kathy Ireland furniture? We decided to try our hand at it, and come fall we’re releasing a line of Breakaway lingerie. Made from 100% spandex, you could say it’s real performance wear.

Veritas Horizon

There are times you wonder when technology really lives up to the promises that it makes. Case in point: our phone system. Basically, Verizon took longer than anticipated to switch our POTS line over to T1, resulting in two hours of busy signals. The problem is fixed now, and you can once again connect with our perky and pleasant phone operators.

March Madness

It wouldn’t be a newsletter about March without even a passing reference to March Madness, the annual college basketball fever that afflicts the nation. As of this writing, UCLA is one step away from the PAC-10 championship, while Memphis has clinched its second straight Conference USA title. Are you infected also? So are a lot of our messengers! Whatever you do, don’t get them started!

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked a real dome-scratcher. We wanted to know at what chain you could still get a good coffee deal, with the added hint that there’s a trick involved. We didn’t think it’d be that hard, but only one customer tried it. The answer: Starbucks! The trick involved is to bring a Starbucks paper cup in with you, and ask for a refill. The price? Fifty cents.

Trivia Question

America has a long literary tradition that, surprisingly, reaches  back farther than Stephen King. What book is regarded as the first American novel? The first person to answer will get to choose between a coveted Breakaway t-shirt or coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 2 February 2007

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We Deliver Love

February is here and that means that sweethearts across the nation will be thinking of ways they can outdo the romantic hijinks they cooked up last Valentine’s Day. We may not be able to help you with setting up the ultimate romantic ski vacation, but we can deliver the tickets, the skis, and whatever other equipment and/or edibles to make your Valentine’s unforgettable.

Going Sideways

Napa Valley Vintners was in a fix. They had seven pallets of wine stranded in a warehouse in NJ without any way to get it to various wine tasting events throughout NYC. Naturally, after hearing about us through the grapevine, they called Breakaway! We picked up the wine, held it at our facility, handled the logistics, and we delivered the goods to waiting oenophiles across NYC. How can we save you?

Sinking Feeling

The horror! The drama! The humanity! The dirty dishes! Yes, the kitchen sink at Breakaway headquarters was out for the last week or so, having been clogged with food. Naturally, we called the plumber, but it turned out to be a challenge for him. Plunging produced no results. Lye and Pequa (a type of super draino) proved to be ineffective. In the end, he had to snake out the pipes, which finally worked. But not before we had accumulated one heck of a dishwashing chore.

Cold At Last

Now this is more like it! New Year’s Day, it was 70 degrees out. Last week in January, in the twenties, like a good New York City winter oughta be. Now we can complain about the cold properly, and say how we can’t wait for the summer heat.

Press One

This month we will be installing a new phone system to take advantage of all the features that the internet has brought. Theoretically, we could be in Hawaii and still answer the phone.  While we’ve long resisted automated operators, when you call Breakaway you will be asked to press 1 for biking or 2 for trucking. You can, of course, always push zero to talk to your favorite phone op. Plus, the new phone system comes in magenta.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked a real dome-scratcher. We wanted to know at what chain you could still get a good coffee deal, with the added hint that there’s a trick involved. We didn’t think it’d be that hard, but only one customer tried it. The answer: Starbucks! The trick involved is to bring a starbucks cup in with you, and ask for a refill. The price for a refill is fifty cents.

 

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 1 January 2007

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Ring In the New

Feliz Año Nuevo, Bonne Annee, Glukkig Nieuwjaar, and Auld Lang Zyne! All of which is Breakaway Courier’s way of saying Happy New Year! Didn’t think we were multi-lingual, did you?

Street Scoop

When Breakaway Courier wants to know the lowdown and be on the up and up, we resort to the CIA: Courier Intelligence Agency. This special network of messenger operatives lets us know everything we need to know about street conditions, and tricks of the trade. Hey, you gotta stay informed in today’s world.

Holiday Calories

Breakaway would like to thank all our customers who took the time and effort to send us gifts, ranging from simple cards to bags of pistachios and even chocolates. We are very touched by the effort, and are inspired to  continue to provide the best possible service in New York City and Boston. All we have to do now is hire cycling guru and coach Chris Carmichael to reduce our waistlines from the pistachios, candy, and chocolate.

Bonus Bonanza

Goldmine $acks – er – we mean Goldman Sachs isn’t the only one that dished out bonuses this year. Breakaway handed out the largesse at Christmas time also! Although, admittedly, all our bonuses combined wouldn’t pay the bonus of the lowest level Goldmine $acks broker. So, instead of lining up at the car dealer for a custom Ferrari, we’ll be heading over to the hobby store for the matchbox version. Envy gets you nowhere.

Top That, Santa!

Breakaway Courier’s delivery volume skyrocketed for the Christmas holiday. But, we’re proud to report that our messengers were fully up to snuff, especially our trucking department. With few exceptions, the city’s premier  bikers glided in and out of traffic with the panache of Fred Astaire, keeping pace with the high volume. Thanks also to all our customers who called their orders in as early as possible, with as much info as possible. That helped things run smoother than a sleigh on fresh snow.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what law in Massachusetts named legendary basketball coach Arnold “Red” Auerbach by name. The answer: A law in Boston stipulating that there will be no smoking in municipal buildings, unless it’s Arnold “Red” Auerbach lighting his cigar in the TD Arena.

Trivia Question

The White House has long been the seat of Presidential power, but where was that seat originally located and what stands there today? The first person to call Rob Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt, or coffee mug. Your choice.

Breakaway News Volume No. 10 Issue No. 12 December 2006

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Huge Holiday Cheer

So you ordered the giant stuffed panda for the little one and the home gym for your significant other. Now all you need is some way of getting them to your doorstep. Well, as it so happens, we are more than ready to help out with all your Christmas deliveries, especially the giant ones! Our trucks, including our  14 ft. lift-gates, are ready when you are.

Warming Watch

Fact or fiction? With global warming continuing apace, one NYC billionaire is determined to do something about it. He’s bought an apartment for $24 million and is stocking it with two of every type of animal known to man. Hope it has high ceilings for the giraffe.

BioFaire

New York City was the host this November of the BioResearch Product Faire, and Breakaway played its part, shuttling the boxes of free giveaways, biotech company literature, and props to and from the shows in one of our lift-gate trucks. We’re proud to report that it went smoother than the skating rink up at the north pole (Santa, hint hint!). Trade show deliveries and logistics is one of our big strengths, so next time you and your company are doing the Javits, give us a call.

Tuttle, Not Buttle

Ever have this happen to you? You receive a bill for someone that sounds a lot like you, but who isn’t you, and, furthermore, doesn’t even exist. Sound crazy? Maybe, but it’s happened to us. We’re calling the NYS Department of Departmental Redundant Redundancies to straighten the mess out.

Bonus: Free coffee mug to the first person to get the title reference.

Online Ordering

Land’s End and other e-tailers aren’t the only place you can order online this holiday season. You can also order online with us! If you have a million and one things to do this holiday, and can’t get away from your computer at work for a moment, you can always order your Breakaway messenger via the Net. More than that, you can track his progress online as well. And you thought the Internet was a time waster.

Stump the Band…

Last month, we asked you to tell us what CBGB/OMFUG stood for. A lot of people answered this one, with the winning answer coming just one day after we sent out the newsletter. The answer: Country Blue Grass Blues/Other Music For Uplifting Gormandisers.

T-Shirt Question

Legendary Boston Celtic coach Arnold “Red” Auerbach died this October. Famous for lighting a cigar when victory was certain, he led the Celtics to nine NBA titles (eight of them straight victories). What Boston law mentions Red by name? The first person to call with the correct answer will receive a Breakaway Courier t-shirt.