Breakaway News Volume No. 13 Issue No. 4 April 2008

Many Happy Returns

Tax season is one of our busiest times of the year. Tuesday, April 15th will be especially busy, so please plan ahead. As a reminder, we are always open on the weekends. Your Breakaway messenger will reach the Internal Revenue Service in plenty of time to avoid any...unwanted attention. Never fear; if you are audited, Breakaway can shuttle paperwork quickly between you, your accountant and your attorney.

Spring Shoes

Ah yes, Spring has arrived. What a great time for a new pair of shoes.  While walking through SOHO, we noticed all kinds of candy-colored shoes under $100 to brighten up your day.  Best of all, we can deliver your new shoes to your home or your office.

Congestion Pricing

As of this morning, the New York City council passed approval of congestion pricing. In theory, trucking services will cost more but deliveries will happen much faster.  If Congestion Pricing is approved by New York State, we shall see how this theory works in practice. Either way, at least it will not affect our bicycle deliveries.

Neighbors

The other day, our neighbors from the third floor came to our office frantically looking for a favor. They had an emergency and wanted of all things: a carton, not just a roll, but a carton of toilet paper. Third-Floor Man promised he would re-stock our supplies soon. And true to his word, about a week ago, we received a full carton of two-ply toilet paper. What a great neighbor. 

One Million Orders

Congratulations to Edwards & Zuck for placing the one millionth order on our new computer system.  In addition, kudos to Eric Owen for deftly taking the order.  We are pleased that our new software has shown the test of time.

New Hire Rejects

Recently, we had some high profile applicants drift through our hiring office looking for messenger work. Sadly, all of them were turned away for a variety of delusional half-truths about their past. One guy claimed to be an ex-governor, another one a U.S. Attorney General, another said he was the CEO of a major investment bank. Strange days indeed. Life goes on. We’re still here, ready for your next delivery.

Stump the Band

The answer to last month’s question was: On March 15th, the assassination of Ancient Roman leader Julius Caesar cast a pall that day.

Trivia Question

How many free parking placards has the City of New York issued to car owners? The first person to call Bob Modica, 646-674-8353, will receive the official Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 13 Issue No. 3 March 2008

Leprechauns

Breakaway would like to wish all our customers a happy Saint Patrick’s Day.  Once again, our couriers will be dodging between scads of leprechauns moving about. And let us not forget all those teenage kids, in for a day of fun and frolic, as our couriers scratch their heads wondering what all the fuss is about.

Ironman M222

“I’m a New Yorker. I don’t take the subway. I just take my bike everywhere.”  And so speaks Breakaway’s Ironman, M222. Eddie Maldonado has been working for us, everyday, for the last 15 years. Recently he got a case of carpel tunnel syndrome and could not ride his bicycle. Not to be denied, he started using the subway. Only problem is, he hasn’t been on the subway in 15 years! “What’s a metro card?” he asked. Whatever it is, it has recently gone up in price. Hats off to M222.

Daylight Savings

Customers! Spring forward on Sunday Morning March 9^th. Set your clock ahead and continue to wait for Spring to follow.

633 MPG

With the price of gasoline predicted to increase to $4.00 a gallon by next summer, we would like to point out that bicyclists gets the equivalent of 633 miles per gallon.  According to Bicycling Magazine, there are 31,000 calories in a gallon of gasoline.  You would have to ride 633 miles to burn 31,000 calories.  For our top bicycle couriers this means they can do deliveries for 21 days on a single gallon of gasoline.

Giants Rule

As predicted, New York rules. Sorry Boston, nothing is perfect is it?  As we were reminded in the Super Bowl that even in a perfect Patriot world, someone will come along and muck it up--like Eli Manning and David Tyree. AND we are still waiting for our clam chowder.

Alumni Magnet

Our paper shredder is a magnet for all employees, even former ones. Recently H512, who now works around the corner, was spotted at Breakaway HQ, shredding confidential papers on his lunch break. Everyone brings their top-secret documents from home to work for safe disposal. What is it about our shredder? After a rigorous study, we feel it is the solitary shredder’s copious emission of odorless pheromones as it looks to attract its soul mate.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you how much Bill Belichick was paid for his first coaching job. Answer: $25.00 per week.

Trivia Question

What historical event has forever cast a pall over the Ides of March? The answer is not the IRS corporate tax deadline. The first person to call Bob Modica, 646-674-8353, will receive the official Breakaway T-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 13 Issue No. 2 February 2008

Cupid’s Couriers

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  On this day or any other day, Breakaway can guarantee true love. Well, not exactly--but we can help you woo the apple of your eye! From chocolates,  to flowers, to  plane tickets to  Paris, we can deliver testaments of love. Call us and we will deliver your special gift to that special person in record time.

Lift-Gate Vision

Things you can do with a lift-gate truck: Easily move 10 couches, or 5000 pounds of peanuts or a big photocopy machine. We have nine lift-gate trucks at your service. Why not simplify your life and call us for your big freight jobs?

Harry Potter Pulled

We thought playing the audio book of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for our on-hold music was a nice change of pace. The responses to this were extremely passionate to say the least.  Either you loved it or hated it. There was no middle ground.  Ninety percent of the responses were positive.  However, Broadway actor Jim Dales' reading was so realistic that some customers truly thought the  Cruciatus Curse was about to be inflicted on them. Sorry for the mix-up; it was only a muggle speaking.

Andrew Math

We now have three employees named Andrew in our office. So far it’s been a bit confusing. How do large companies do it? We've come up with a highly sophisticated algorithm to address this matter and it's easy math. First you take Andrews' initials AB AY AD. Cube it. Square it and you come up with A(B+D+Y). Capiche?  Next week: Fractions.

Clam Chowder Bowl - Manhattan Or New England?

Here we go again. Another big sporting event, the Super Bowl, will  decide which city is superior.  We are happy to say, we are writing from New York and ELI’S COMING!

Friendly Wager

Breakaway-Boston Mayor Tom Cromwell has offered a friendly wager with Breakaway-New York Mayor Rob Kotch. The stakes are high: If the Giants win Mayor Tom will send 250 servings of New England Clam Chowder, one for each biker, driver and dispatcher. When the Patriots win, Rob will send the Boston crew 250 servings of Manhattan Clam Chowder. Mayor Tom's prediction: Patriots 38, Giants 17. Mayor Rob's prediction: Giants 35, Patriots 34.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you why Nikola Tesla was ahead of his time. The correct answer is “wireless electricity transfer”.

Trivia Question

How much was New England Head Coach Bill Belichick paid per week for his very first coaching job? The first person to call Bob Modica with the correct answer will win the coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 13 Issue No. 1 January 2008

Happy New Year!

To all of our customers, a heartfelt and sincere Happy New Year! Our new New Year’s mantra is, “When I breathe in, I breathe in peace. When I breathe out, I breathe out love.” Like it or we’ll smack you one.

Sit! Fetch! Deliver!

One of our customers was determined to do something for our messengers this Christmas, but sending cookies and chocolates for more than 200 messengers can put a severe strain on anyone’s budget. With a burst of Christmas ingenuity, they decided to sponsor a dog in need of a home, in our name. The dog, a very adorable spaniel mix, is now named Breakaway! That’s a present that’ll make our hearts glow all year.

Caloric Christmas

While the dog takes top prize as Most Ingenious Gift Ever, many of our other customers sent wonderfully traditional edible gifts to us, ruining our svelte figures. The tally so far: 1 large bag of pistachios, 5 boxes of cookies, 7 items of chocolate, both white and dark types, and 1 box of chocolate salt water taffy. Burp!

Welcome Aboard

It’s heartening to watch everyone turning green these days. Not with envy, but with environmental consciousness. For the record, we at Breakaway have been green for twenty years, since eighty percent of all our deliveries are made by bicycle. We also just deposited a down payment on our first big cargo bike.

Elevator Talk

“Spoofed? No, I wasn’t spoofed. Why, did someone spoof me?”

 Just one of the many conversations overheard by our messengers every day.

Bragging Rights

This Christmas season our messengers rose to the occasion, as did our dispatchers, answering the wild call of each and everyone of our procrastinating customers (not that there’s anything wrong with that!).

Smarty-Wheels

Daimler will soon be selling its Smart car in NYC. Popular in Europe, these two-seaters get 40/mpg and can park anywhere an SUV can’t, i.e.; everywhere. For Manhattan, that’s pretty smart.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what Manhattan street is laid out in geographic east-west orientation. This one turned out to be not so challenging as we got a lot of correct answers, which was Stuyvesant Street, on the Lower East Side.

Trivia Question

Nikola Tesla was years ahead of his time. What idea of his is only now starting to become reality? The first person to call Bob Modica with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt, or coffee mug. Your choice.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 12 December 2007

Happy Holidays!

Breakaway wishes all of our clients Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year. As always, Breakaway is standing by at Code Red (Alpha one-zero-niner Delta!) to help you with your holiday needs, large or small. See the reverse side for important holiday planning tips.

Messenger Relativity

How long does it take to bicycle from 42^nd street to 57^th street? Ten seconds per block, multiplied by 15 blocks, equals 150 seconds. How long does it take for a package to go from the mailroom to the 26^th floor? Five hours! Often, a package can languish for days in a mailroom, even rush packages. The solution: label the item with the contact’s name and number so they can be called when the package arrives.

Leaping Leopards!

We went to a Mac OS X launch party, and it was crammed with Mac maniacs, live jazz, free beer and real leopards (only two of the Mac faithful were eaten). Now that’s how you launch an OS! If your laptop needs a lift, or your computer must be carried somewhere, Breakaway’s messengers have a high data-transfer rate (i.e. we’re fast).

Leftover Love

Pavlov would be proud. We’ve become habituated to the baked goods that staffer MN brings in every morning. His wife runs Cheeks bakery in Williamsburg, so every morning he brings in leftover goodies like scones, muffins, and cake. The downside: each muffin is at least 2 more laps around Central Park.

Elevator Talk

“All I’m doing is running drugs for people. I don’t wanna run drugs anymore.”

Just one of the many conversations overheard by our messengers every day.

New Beginnings

Staffer and Newsletter editor RM is in school for acupuncture, and will be leaving in January to pursue it full-time. He’ll be an intern at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, so, if ever you feel the urge to be made into a human pin cushion, call the school and ask for Rob Martinez’ shift.

Coining a Phrase

Do you have that guy on staff who, while going to the store, asks if you want anything, but never gets it anyway? We had that guy, in spades. He once asked us if we wanted anything, and when we asked for a seltzer, he replied, without a hint of irony, “I’m not going that way.” This was years ago, but we still say, “I’m not going that way,” in fond remembrance of his recalcitrance.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked you what fantasy series featured a ring of power and a leper as its hero. The answer: The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, by Stephen R. Donaldson.

Trivia Question

What Manhattan street is laid out on a precise East-West orientation? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a  coveted Breakaway Courier t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 11 November 2007

Thanksgiving

We want to wish all of our customers a safe, happy, memorable, and fattening Thanksgiving holiday. Remember to drive safely, and if you have any last minute needs - like, say, extra cranberry sauce - Breakaway is ready to get you out of a jam. Just be sure to give the messenger a nice helping of turkey. Note: We’ll be closed Thursday the 22^nd, but open Friday the 23^rd.

Breakaway in Peru

General manager AY has returned triumphant from Peru, after a glorious vacation in the Andes. He visited Machu Pichu, and brought back a bunch of presents for the staff (well, we got one at least). He also reports that the new office for the Andean branch of Breakaway is just about ready. The only difference is that the messengers will be riding llamas instead of bicycles.

Where is ZP?

ZP, our newest office commuter from Yonkers, hit a snag recently. Or, more precisely, he hit a TLC limo while riding into work one day. He’s mostly okay, but seems to have torn some ligaments in his knee. The limo was totaled.

No Starch!

DD brought his $300 jersey to the local dry cleaner near the Breakaway compound. In the end, he wished he hadn’t. It was returned XXXXXXXtra small, and with more holes in it than a chain link fence. Caveat emptor!

Thanks

We would like to report that the Newsletter has won a prestigious award for industry newsletters. But, that would be lying. We have, however, received praise from our readers. Thanks. That’s better than any award.

Seven and Nine

If you were a Dart customer, and had a four digit account number, it is now preceded by a 7. So, if your account number was 1234 with Dart, it is now 71234. Dart customers who’s account numbers started with a 9 are unchanged.

Pod People

How cool is Apple’s iPhone? So cool that now messengers can use the touchscreen iPod’s built in browser to view the jobs that are dispatched to them, as well as look up Google Maps to help them with find their way. Unfortunately, they can also get run over from watching movies instead of minding traffic. So, it has its good and bad side.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked how many chicks were sired by New York’s most famous red-tail hawk, Pale Male. The answer: According to the Audubon Society, Pale Male has sired 26 chicks. Send cigars to 927 5^th Avenue, 12^th floor window on the right.

Trivia Question

What fantasy series has a ring-wielding leper as its hero? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt. Try Googling that you Wikipediers!

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 10 October 2007

Devil Of A Time

Breakaway wishes all of our customers a happy, healthy, and frightening Halloween. For All Hallows Eve, we are hiring a whole bunch of imps, goblins, and other assorted mischief makers to make your deliveries. They’ll still be riding bikes, however, as our order for the 2008 model Nimbus Flying Brooms is on backorder.

Logically Loaded

One of our heavy weight customers had a big logistics problem. Naturally, they turned to Breakaway. We smoothed the distribution scheme for them by receiving the product of 75 vendors and consolidating it all into one delivery, with much of the work taking place here at the Breakaway compound. The items were packed into bags, and delivered in one shot to their destination, which made our customer’s life very easy, and them very grateful.

Bicycle Detour

What a quirk of fate. The landlord of the Breakaway office building has decided that bicycles don’t belong in the passenger elevators: years after we’ve all been going up and down with ours. As it happens; the freight guy is faster. Now, we have class A security for our class C lobby. That’s life in the big city!

VIP in NYC = OMG!

The last week of September many important personages, including President Bush and Iranian President Ahmadinejad, were in New York to address the U.N. General Assembly. Of course, that meant street closures, gridlock, and imaginative headlines from the city’s tabloids. Even so, our couriers and truckers kept calm heads as they navigated midtown and were still able to deliver, impressing even the VIPs.

Web Tip

Triple check the service type and vehicle selection to make sure they match, and are appropriate for the job. For example: Lift-gate truck service does not get a bike nor car. Also be sure to check how many men your truck job needs, one or two.

Mets to Mutts

The Mets have accomplished a dubious feat: blowing perhaps the biggest lead in the history of baseball: seven games up with 17 games left. Historical note: the last big lead to be blown was by the ’64 Phillies, the very team that tied the Mets this year as their lead evaporated. We’ll just have to wait till next year.

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked what seven things are needed to make an outside pick-up. Only one intrepid customer called to try and answer. The seven items are: Company; address; floor and/or room number; phone number; contact name; item description and number; and time it’s ready. Or, Who, What, When, Where, but no Why.

Trivia Question

How many chicks has New York’s most famous red-tail hawk, Pale Male, sired? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 9 September 2007

Package of Azkaban

In a special investigative report, Breakaway exposes a hidden way that our messengers are slowed down: missing information! This is information that is critical to a messenger picking up from a location outside the customer’s address but, either through wearing a cloak of invisibility, and/or having been absconded with by Lord Valdemort, never makes it onto the order. The messenger and dispatcher then waste valuable time trying to undo the spell. But you can help us overcome Valdemort’s evil by working with our phone operators to create a spell of finding, merely by including all the information on the call. That way, packages won’t languish in Azkaban.

Shirts

We just ordered a whole new bunch of t-shirts to supply our trivia winners with. We were starting to run dry! Colors are Grey, Green, Purple and Navy. Be sure to specify which you want if you do win.

Commute

Zarry is our newest office member to commute to the Breakaway compound by bicycle. Big deal, you say? Well, it is a big deal, since the big man is biking in from Yonkers, a 17.5 mile trip one way. That’s a daily 35-mile commute. Oh, and did we mention that the man was 290 lbs? As of this writing, he’s now down to 260.

Bedtime for Gonzo

A couple months back, we opined that the U.S. Attorney General would be a messenger with us by September. With the news of his recent resignation, we’re holding a place here for him. We even have a bell with his name on it. He should do fine; it’s not like riding for us is torture, you know.

Big Apple Century

It’s that time of year again. What time is that you say? Why, time for the NYC Century Ride, of course! Sponsored by Transportation Alternatives, the ride covers 100 miles of New York City, excluding Staten Island (shorter loops are provided also). The ride starts Sunday, September ninth.

Web Tip

Keeping your online address book well organized can help save you time when typing an order in the New Order page. That way you can use a drop down menu to input destinations or outside pickup addresses. Not set up for Web orders? Call Rob Martinez for online access.

Stump the Band

Last month, we wanted to know what chemical structure was named after a prominent American thinker. The answer: Fullerene, aka Buckyballs, after Buckminster Fuller. Also called C-60, their structure resembles a geodesic dome, a structure that Fuller pioneered as an architect.

Trivia Question

What are the seven things a messenger needs to make a pick-up from outside your office? The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 8 August 2007

We’re on Fire!

One of our intrepid messengers was making a delivery to 1441 Broadway. When he got there, he found the entire building had been evacuated for a fire drill, and there was no way to get in! Thinking quickly, he yelled out the name of the company at the top of his lungs. A woman in the crowd responded, “Oh, I work for them,” and signed for the package. Yet another true story of our unstoppable messengers.

Web Tip

Whoever is designated “Administrator” for the Breakaway order-entry web site has the ability to add and delete users, change passwords, and more. When setting up your online Breakaway account, consider whom you would like to make administrator.

Editorial Fame

A certain media magnate heard of our Newsletter through the grapevine and, after seeing a copy, offered to put us in charge of the Wall Street Journal. We decided that we couldn’t accept. Otherwise, we’d have to mention Paris Hilton in the Newsletter. Whoops! We just did!

Elevator Talk

Husband:  I put the number on the refrigerator.

Did you get it?

Wife: That bit of paper? I threw it out.

Husband: Why'd you throw it out? You needed that number!

Wife: How was I supposed know I needed it?

Husband: Because I put it on the refrigerator!

Shane’s the Name

Where will a life as a Breakaway courier leave you? Many have come to us and passed back into the anonymity from whence they came, but Shane did not. He rode for us, penned an article about his wild life in Amsterdam for the Voice, and can now be seen on ESPN as a top-ranked poker player called, “the Shane-iac.”

Truckin’ On

One of our clients was so impressed by our trucking services that she recommended us to a colleague at a retail chain. Now, we’re delivering to their stores in NYC and the Tri-State area. What can our truck department do for you?

Stump the Band

Last month, we asked for the derivation of the term, “southpaw.” According to legend, baseball diamonds were arranged with homeplate due east, to keep the sun out of a pitcher’s eyes in the afternoon sun. If the pitcher was left-handed, his left hand would be facing south.

Trivia Question

What carbon structure takes its name from an eminent American thinker, and why? The first person to call with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt or coffee mug.

Breakaway News Volume No. 12 Issue No. 7 July 2007

Fourth of July

To all our customers, a happy Fourth of July! We hope you’re all going to kick back, relax, throw some burgers on the barbeque while sipping a cold one, and watch some fireworks. We know we’re going to, so don’t call us to for work on the Fourth (a Wednesday) because we’ll be closed.

Truck? Bike? Both!

It’s tricky; you have a large package, and you think a cyclist can take it, but you’re not sure. Well, we’ve got the perfect solution: the cargo bike! We have a new messenger who pilots a bike that can carry 700 pounds of cargo. So, when you’re not sure, we are.

Traffic de-Congestion

We’re excited! We’re titillated! We’re all agog at Mayor Mike’s Congestion Pricing proposal, and we’re thrilled that Gov. Spitzer and the U.S. transportation secretary are both behind it. If the plan gets the nod from Albany, NYC could stand to get $500 million from the Fed for it. And we’ll cruise through jamless streets. Go Mike go!

Bike Terminology

Poser Pass: Gunning it really hard to catch another cyclist (usually a stranger) then easing up when passing in order to look like it was easy.

Panther-ish Grace

Breakaway Courier’s truck department is partnering with Panther Expedited Services to contract their truck work. Still in its infancy, this deal should allow us to expand our vehicular reach. It’s not a tiger in the tank, but it is a panther in, well, some part of the vehicle.

Stump the Band

Last month, we wanted to know who “Little Chocolate” was. The answer: Boxer George Dixon. The first black champion of any sport in America, he took the championship as a bantamweight in 1888. Also a champion featherweight, he’s buried in Boston, Mass.

Trivia Question

Where is the origin of the term, “southpaw?” The first person to call Robert Martinez with the correct answer will win a coveted Breakaway t-shirt.